The Little Guy....

Let me preface this story with the fact that I was going through some files and found this story I had written. It's rather out of order of what I was intending to do but since I found it, I will post it right now and not concern myself with trying to find it again!
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Dad and the Little Man…..
There’s a bit o’ Irish man in my Pop, mostly German though…..he is 89. The oldest of eight children and was 9 years old in the year of the Crash of 1929….the very same year he lost his Mother after she had given birth to a sibling. Married a gal that he had gone to grade school with who later said that she didn't like him in school. Too bossy....know it all.

Father of three….a son born in ’40, a daughter born in ’42 and the last, an Irish redhead Lass born in 1952. The oldest didn't live to see his Dad grow old, as he drowned when he was almost 3. What sadness must have overpowered the young parents. I have often wondered how they both made it through each day. How DO you raise your head off the pillow in the morning to start each day? Mom always said had she not had a daughter to raise {that would have been my sister, Nola} she wouldn't have wanted to live. Dad said that it was his responsibility to put food in the mouths of his family so he did what he had to do.

He worked hard all his life……even when he retired he continued to run his fix it shop, never saying no to anyway who came to get something repaired. From wood to metal, he could figure out a way to make it work, run, or he would build a new one. His first reaction to a project was always, I don’t think it can be done and then he would turn around and get it done. Whatever was do be done, “Odie” could do it.

So here he is, in the Winter of his life….surrounded by many who love him. As the youngest daughter I had promised both of my parents that I would NOT ever put them in a nursing home. I often said I wouldn't be able to put my head on a pillow at night wondering if Dad was sad and lonely and that I couldn't bare to ever walk away from him or Mom and let someone else take care of them. I told them both that no matter what I had been born with or what may have happened to me growing up, there is no way they would have put ME in an institution.

We lost Mom in 2003….the sadness for me was sometimes unbearable. I wouldn’t just cry, I would weep and sob for my Mom. I would find myself thinking of something to tell her and would think of calling and then realize I couldn’t. That didn’t stop me from mentally telling her anyways. I would go through some of her things she got me and would remember the story she would tell me that was associated with a particular item.

Dad lived independently for 6 years after Mom died. Then the situation changed. He needed help with the checking…..paying bills and although it was hard to give in to the fact that he DID need help, he agreed to accept some assistance. In a short time of less than a year, Dad had round the clock care…..first it was my Daughter, Michelle, who is an RN. She temporarily moved in with her two children and cared for Dad for a couple months. My sister, my great niece and my best girlfriend would help my daughter care for Dad. Michelle would keep a close eye on Dad and knew exactly what he needed and didn't hesitate to get Dad the very best when it was necessary and was on top of the medical decisions made for him.
It may seem to others that it’s a sad time for us…..Dad is nearing the end of his life…..and yes, it does cross my mind that I will be saying goodbye to him in my lifetime. Before he goes though, he will continue to leave us stories for he is quite entertaining in the state of mind he is in.
Dad doesn't have Alzheimer’s….it’s dementia brought on from symptoms like Parkinson’s. He is sometimes “having a good day”, as he says. He rests well, he knows all of us and he doesn't see anyone we don’t see.

Then there ARE the days that are all BUT normal and it’s like reading the most interesting book you have ever had in your life. It may all start so innocently….a simple question is asked and OMG, he is on a roll.

To the Irish Point of the title.....I may have told this story previously but it is worthy of telling once again.
~~My Daughter, Michelle, Dad and I were sitting in Bob Evans restaurant in Logansport, Indiana one day. Dad was doing fine, no dementia so far that day. Dad like Bob Evans so I tried to take him to all the places he liked to go and we stayed far away from fast food. 
We had just finished ordering and Dad was staring at the table....he moved the salt, then the pepper and just watched and moved his eyes. I thought at first he saw a bug. Then I got curious and asked him what he was looking at. I had been drinking by Coke and out of his mouth came, "I am looking at that Little Man." I nearly spit my drink across the table at Michelle. I choked. Not the first time either! He didn't say it but I pictured a little green Leprechaun. So I started laughing and Dad was grinning....and Michelle wanted to know where he was....the little man that is. Dad pointed right in the very spot he was standing. Michelle, being the instigator brought her hand up and went straight down on the "little man" who was standing there. 
Oh that did it for Dad, he was quite disturbed at her doing that. I was still laughing hard and could barely see what was going on but I saw what she did! Dad says," , Oh look what you did now…. He is dead. Now he can’t feed his family. They will have to go on Welfare….and only get 50% of what he made."

I just could not contain myself after that. I think the whole restaurant was looking. My stomach was hurting by now.....how does he come up with this stuff? It was just hilarious! 

That was my Dad in a nutshell....always worrying about the "little guy".~~

My Memories...

I was thinking today of how I wish I had been able to start a blog on my Mom. Oh she would have been so much fun to write about. She would have wanted to read it. Dad could take it or leave it when it came to seeing what I wrote. If it was a funny story about him, he would have said he lived it.....he didn't need to read about it. IF it had been my Mom, she would have wanted to read it just to make sure I wasn't making too much fun of the situation OR wanted to make sure I got it right. I did write some of the stories Mom told me down in Word format years ago. Somewhere on my usb drives they hide. Maybe I should revive them and start a blog on my Mom. Now SHE could be a character. Oh she had so many stories.
I had lunch with a friend yesterday. We started talking about our Moms. She knew some of my Mom's stories but I started to tell her a sad story about my Mom that very few people know about. I started to cry. Then my friend started to cry. She understood that I was sad for my Mom and that she really didn't have the happy life she could have had. Dad and Mom both worked way too hard and partied way too little. My Dad would say he didn't need to party. Mom would say Dad wouldn't take her to THE party! Funny stuff from them too.
Sad times too....maybe I should start in my next post about the stories of when they met....the very early years. The stories that I know...which may be different than other stories others know. I would like to think I did pay attention to my Mom and Dad when they did tell family stories and the experiences they had. We shall see if I can recall while I begin the next chapter.

Day by Day...

Each day gets easier to deal with the loss of my Dad. I cry when I see his photo going through them online or in my files. It's just a personal thing to deal with his loss. I am happy he got what he wanted but sad he and Mom wasn't around longer to enjoy themselves. I think they rarely got to real enjoy themselves. They gave and gave and got really so very little at times. For that I feel bad for them but they chose to help instead of being selfish. Oh they were never that, for sure. I sure hope they get the finest rewards in Heaven. They sure deserve it. They didn't get a lot of rewards here on this Earth!

There was much to do when Dad passed away. Took me almost 3 months to notify, fill out forms for death certificates, notify insurance companies, find insurance companies that we didn't know he had, fill out paperwork, finish online information, pay bills, and dozens of other things you have to do when someone dies. I did it while grieving for Dad. There were days I just refused to even look at that stack of papers staring at me that I had to get done.

All this while dealing with a daughter and her children in crisis. That crisis has not ended but getting better if I can find some peace and quiet somewhere. {lol} I still have my sense of humor MOST days. {Today was no one of them.} 

Dad was specific about what he wanted done when he was gone. Dad had requested that we donate money to his church. But he had left that church years before and it had changed so much over the time he was gone. I had talked to him one day when he was of a sound mind about that subject. 

He knew from talking to his friend that the church he had attended had changed a lot. 

Many had left or died and he had visited and had seen the difference. 

So I asked him what he thought about using that money he set aside to send to the Billy Graham Association. 

Mom and Dad had always loved his ministry. I had bought Dad the CD, Homeward Bound that was read by Billy Graham. Dad had enjoyed listening to that until he fell asleep. I gave him some time to think about it and he came back with that would be a good idea. Dad probably wouldn't have come up with that idea on his own with his mind the way it was but if you gave Dad some options, he could think on that pretty well. 

So I promised him that I would do that. 

It took me about 4 months after Dad died to sit down and write a letter along with a check to the BGA to tell them about my Mom and Dad. 

I sent a copy to my sister so she knew Dad's wish had been fulfilled and so she could see what I said in the letter. 

I included some photos of them young and old. I included a group photo of us 4 which was the last photo of us together. 

I separated the money into different categories provided in the form I downloaded online, so several needs would be met. 

I know it won't change the world. 

The main point was to do as Dad had asked us to do with his hard earned money. 

That was the most important thing that we did. 

http://www.billygraham.org/mediarelations_pressrelease_detail.asp?id=9529 

So if you are so inclined to ever donate to the BGA, then here is a form to use.

If you like my blog about my Dad then by all means donate in his name. He would have liked that. If you could see him, you would make him grin big.

http://www.billygraham.org/assets/media/pdfs/support/BGEADonationForm.pdf 

The End of the Story?

You might think this is the end of the story...but it is not.
There are more stories to be told about my Dad.
I have them circling around in my head.
This is for my Kids, my Grandkids....and their kids, and so on. It's for them but also for anyone interested.
Just because my Dad is gone doesn't mean the story has to end, now does it?

I will start with a poem that I thought had been written by Dad. I mistakenly gave him the credit and discovered recently that he did not write it, although he could have. He did write another song that he never put the music to.
I had seen it before in his things but placed it back in the box vowing to return later and sort all of these papers out and possibly put them in a scrapbook. This is where my addiction to order comes in handy, btw. ; )

So while looking for some information before making the memorial card, I luckily came across the poem again and there was no doubt in my mind that this should be on the memorial card. I don't regret adding it to the card although Dad didn't write it, the poem was still very appropriate. I am glad to have it in his handwriting as a keepsake.

Had I known it was a song, I would have played it at the Memorial service. So please credit the actual writer of the song. My mistake. It was an honest mistake, I promise.
It is in a Salvation Army Songbook #732

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYluvTthjiU 

"I'm in His hands.

Whate're the future holds

The days I cannot see

Have all been planned for me

His way is best you see

I'm in his hands."

Flowers from the Memorials

I want to thank those who sent flowers and other gifts.
Some flowers will be planted at my house and some will be planted at my sister's house.
The greenery will be kept alive as long as our green thumbs can make them grow.
We want to thank...
Lerryn ~ Bleeding Heart plant.
Braden Mfg ~ Lovely Greenery Asst Plants
Cedar Ridge Christian Church ~ Spathiphyllum {Peace Lily}
Rod's Family in Indiana ~ Hydrangeas
Richard & Debbie Leazenby ~ Large Multi greenery plants
Riverview Wesleyan Church ~ Spring bulbs in planter
Heartland Cruisers Club {Dad's Car Club} ~ Floral Arrangement
Logansport Machine Co Retirees ~ Floral Arrangement
Glorine Smith ~ Donation of 5 Gideon Bibles
Fred and Carole Wandrei ~ Memorial Gift to the Bridge Community Church {formerly Riverview Wesleyan Church.

Just what's on my mind...

I really didn't think Dad would die this last time with pneumonia. I really didn't.
In fact, when Hospice nurse told me that he was in his last stages of life, I laughed at her....I told her...."You don't understand, I have seen my Dad worse than THIS...believe me. He pulls out of everything."
Not that I think she really did understand more than me....cause she didn't really. Dad and God chose his time. I was the last to know.
I had written down what he said to me when he was in the hospital in January with a UTI. I found it again in my notebook when I was cleaning out my purse.
Dad said, "I ain't got too long to live, so you better get busy." He went on to say give me some story about photography that I didn't quite understand. He continued with, " I wish I had a club to hit myself in the head." "The trouble with the diagnosis....the body is made the same as meat." He saw the confusion in my face I think, cause he then said, "I might as well shut up because I am not making any sense."
I just thought at the time that he was having a reaction to the UTI....it sometimes makes elderly people hallucinate. Dad already hallucinated without a UTI.
You see, inside my mind, I wanted to hug him and tell him that I didn't want him to die.....I was afraid when he talked like that....and he did that often enough that if I had let it get to me, I would have cried way too much. I just wanted to turn his thinking around so he would stop thinking about how much better off he thinks he would be dead. I wanted him to stay here with us for as long as he was not miserable and in awful pain. We did everything to keep him comfortable as anyone his age could possibly be without knocking him out with meds that made him a vegetable. I wanted him awake. He wanted to sleep.
Now I have some regrets for not just letting him have his way and maybe just sitting down and praying WITH him that God would come and take him home. To me, that's like saying I want him gone when I didn't.
I wanted him to stay for when my Daughter and Grandkids would come back to live in the area. I knew being around the kids would liven him up. I was picturing it in my mind that Dad would be in the hot tub and Kilah and Kiara would be in talking to Grandpa giving him the will to carry on for even just a little while longer. I had plans for that.
Unfortunately many of my well planned out plans in my life have dwindled away of no fault of my own.
Due to others failing in their own plans affects us all in so many ways. There is only but one thing to do and that is not to lose hope. Hope is what keeps us going. One door opens when another closes. I keep trying to keep that thought.
So while I am waiting for another door to open, let me say that if you are putting off something like taking a trip with a loved one, or playing a good game of Scrabble cause there is some TV show that you or someone else wants to see......then put your foot down.....play that Scrabble, turn OFF that TV.....take that trip, make those plans, JUST DO IT, whatever it is. Get it done THIS YEAR!

The Kroeger Funeral Home Obit in Indiana

http://kroegerfuneralhome.com/fh/obituaries/obituary.cfm?o_id=1995527&fh_id=10286

This link is no longer active. The one in the post below is still active as of this date 11/12/2018.

Memorial Website for Dad...

http://www.floralhaven.com/obituaries/Odus-Raymer/#/PhotosVideos/00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000/0cc7f28e-8ed1-4092-bc31-124323d13d35
This is for the Tulsa area....there will be another for the Indiana area that I will add as I get it.

They did a fast job getting this all done. We have been working hard to get this up for all of those who cannot attend but would like to know what's going on.

I hope to have a couple videos to add in a few days of the celebration of Dad's life.
So keep checking back.

Wendy

Odie is young again.....

My story telling days for Dad are over I am sad to report. At least the ones while he was alive...
Dad entered on the other side Tuesday, March 5th at 3:15pm.
I, alone, was by his side at the hospital holding his hand.
I will tell more of the story later....but...
When I saw the end was near I told him it was okay to leave us, we would be fine and carry on his lessons in life.
Five moments later, he took his last breath.
He was in no pain, and it was so peaceful, it gave ME peace.
I kissed him goodbye, told him I loved him very much several times before the last breath.
I asked him to forgive me for anything I ever did to make him unhappy.

I will miss him very much.
I am so grateful for the determination to write these stories for the younger generations in our family who are here and who are to come so they will get to know their Grandpa a little better when his name is mentioned.

I know my Dad will be greeted in Heaven. Of that I have no doubt.
He not only said he was a Christian, he lived it and set the example.

I am proud to say he was a good and patient Dad even when he shouldn't have been. My sister and I could surely put both our parents to the test at times.

I hope in my adult years I gave them a sense of peace and didn't worry them much at all. I cannot undo anything but I certainly tried to give them a peace to know that one day I will join them in heaven. In the end, that's all that matters.

He took that last ride to Heaven's Gates.

Rest in Peace, Dad....you deserve it.

Update for Baby Making Factory...

I talked with Sheila, the nurse at the Senior Center and she enlightened me on why Dad thought there were babies being made there.
Apparently two ladies who have Alzheimers carry baby "dolls" around with them. Ahhhhh Haaaa. That explains the story.

Why Dad waited for the telling of this story at this time when I remember seeing them carry those dolls around a couple years ago, I dunno.

Baby Making Factory

You may or may not believe THIS story....but for us here at the house, we believe just about anything that will come out of Dad's mouth. Boy can he tell a wild story.

This story occurred about a month ago but just haven't got to posting it. Actually I am probably behind a few stories.

Rod usually gets Dad from the Senior Center. On the way home Rod hears the gist of what went on during Dad's day. Most of the time it's stories about who got the most food that wasted it. How Dad can see the other people's plates is beyond me when he can't see his silverware to use at the table. Apparently the lighting is better at the Center than it is here because someone is always getting the bigger piece of cake, a large piece of meat, or more coffee than he is given. haha It's always something with him. I thought the Dope Ring at the center was the best story but noooooooooo, Dad topped himself with this one.

He comes in the house just bursting at the seams to let me know that the whole place {Senior Center} was shutting down. He didn't get in on the details but that's what was coming down the Pike. Not only that but they have recruited the females for a BABY MAKING SCHEME....

Well, you know I started laughing out loud and Rod was laughing right along with me although he had already heard some of this. So I have to ask the questions......
First one was ......who in the world would ever want a bunch of old ladies who don't even have any of their baby making parts left probably for a baby making scheme????? Of course, my Dad has an answer...."How should I know....I am just telling you what I heard." Not only that but they are trying to get the men to sign up for sperm donation!!!!!!
I tell Dad he has fell off the turnip truck and got ran over cause there is no way anything near like that is happening at the SENIOR CENTER....
So Dad says....still thinking this is a for real thing in spite of my wisdom, "I will tell you one thing right now. I am not signing up for anything. They ain't getting a thing outta me."
Now Rod and I are really roaring now......Dad has nothing to give!
Rod is laughing because he is giving Dad advice to the contrary....he tells him at his age it might be fun trying and just go ahead and let them think he is a good donor.
I giving Rod the looks not to encourage his story and laughing the whole time.

Two weeks later.......according to Dad, never happen and he has no recollection of what we are talking about. LOL
Yep, like I have said before.....take Dad to open mic night at the Comedy Club....put him on stage and let the audience ask questions.....he would have them rolling in the isles.
Even the nurse that comes here during the week suggests each week that Dad and I need our own reality show.

A Dog's Story

It's been pretty tough this month. Our beloved Daisy Belle got ill the first week of February. I took her to emergency within 24 hours when she stopped eating....she became lethargic. Vets ran lots of tests and could only find that she was dehydrated due to not eating the day before. So they gave her a dose of hydration under her skin. The next day she was no better and had a seizure so I took her to our Vet in a hurry. I was very worried and very grateful my son and daughter-in-law were here to drive with me.
They decided to keep her over night and run some tests....give her a constant IV and some anti-nausea medicine. Two days later she had another seizure and she was gone. Hard for me to even type this....long story short...our hearts were broken. We lost our little girl and she was just 6 months old. The only thing in all the tests was that she had a tick disease that was very treatable and was getting antibiotics for it. It may always remain a mystery.
I had to tell Dad that afternoon when he came home from the Senior Center. He asked where she was so I saw the opportunity to tell him then. He just sat there....then began to cry....he asked what happened. Then later that evening after he went to bed, I heard him crying. I went into the room and asked him what was wrong and he just said, "Daisy." I started to cry too and told him that we couldn't do anything for her....the vet couldn't help her. It was just to be. To make me feel better, Rod had told me earlier than Daisy was taken because they needed a puppy to be with all those children that were killed in the Kindergarten class that was on the news. So when Dad was crying, Rod related that to Dad. Dad really didn't know about the story but he cried anyway.
I have cried every single day for that dog. I knew that we had to get another one and right away.
I ended up getting sick with a abcess tooth AND if that wasn't bad enough I got the flu all at the same time. Rod had to do it all for Dad for about 10 days. Chris came on Mondays and Tuesdays to help with Dad too. I was miserable....crying for my puppy all the time and trying to get well. I was very depressed.
However, the story does get better. Dad mentioned Daisy a couple more times but he didn't cry anymore. I was glad of that because I didn't want him to get depressed.
So as I laid in the bed recovering I started searching for a new dog. I was pretty sure I was going to get another Beagle but I was scared of getting one that looked like Daisy. I saw a few very close to her and steered away from it because I thought it would make me more sad.
So as I looked for puppies I found it to be harder than it was when we got Daisy. Some were far away.....then one day I was looking at Beagle Rescue for Oklahoma. One little gal caught my eye.....she had the eyes of Bubbles, our Dalmatian that we lost in 2003 due to old age...and she was a Beagle, part Dachshund AND Jack Russell. Oh she was the cutest dog. Black and white and long legs. She even had some spots.
I called the foster Mom and we made arrangements to meet at the Petsmart where she was bringing in a couple more dogs up for adoption. Well......one look at "Sadie" which was the name they gave her and I was pretty sure this little gal was the one. So after about 30 minutes of visiting with her....seeing how she took to us.....I told the foster Mom that we wanted her. To my surprise she told me I could take her NOW....NOW? Wow, that was great. I told her I wasn't expecting that but she said she KNOWS when people are what they say they are. I had showed her photos of our home, the backyard...the doggie door for her and her bed that day. I brought them with me so she would know we were prepared. I told her she could come visit her anytime. She had told us that she was almost ready to adopt her if she didn't get a home that weekend....she said she had her since November and had become attached quickly. However, she was very happy that she was going to a good home and would not worry about her.
First thing I did was to change her name....Sadie was okay but not my choice so I gave her the most appropriate name....she was my saving Grace.....so her name is Gracie Belle. She has been here since last Saturday and already very much at home. She LOVES the doggie door and goes out all the time to stand on the patio and let Buck, the old Lab next door know that she is there. Very smart, she is. She has taken to all of us....so many little things she does that tells me she is in the right place.
Dad loves her too but he is always calling her Queenie....I think that was a dog he had either has a kid or when he and Mom were first married. She jumps up to sit with Dad sometimes. She likes her space....she has long legs like a fawn and she loves to stretch out when she sleeps.

She is in her Forever Home.

The Recliner...short story

Dad has lately been sitting in his lift recliner in his room during the day. He hasn't gone back to the Senior Center yet so I have him sit where there is the most light. He sleeps most of the time in their anyway. I turn the music on and he sits stretched out.

So yesterday, he calls me. I am in the kitchen with my hands messy so I hollar out to him, "Just a minute." Apparently I said, "Go ahead and get out of the recliner on YOUR OWN......." because that is exactly what he did. {not the first time this has happened though, and won't be the last.