The meaning of Dementia

Dad was telling a story today while he was in my office with me. I asked him if he knew what Dementia was. He didn't even hesitate and he answered: Yes, it's the story of mind motion, the intakes and outtakes. Sounds good to me. I never know what he will say next.

Dad and Christopher

Christopher and Dad 1-29-10

Dad sitting in rocking chair and watching the birds outside in the snow.

An Oklahoma Snowy Saturday...

Dad's new medicine may help with his appetite but it's not helping with the sleeping or dementia. Since last evening Dad has been hallucinating continuously. He went to bed about 10pm and woke me up at Midnight yelling out, HEY, HEY.....about 6 times. It took me that many HEYS before I could manage to get my achy bones to his room. There he is sitting up in the bed ready to stand up before I got there. He said he had to get his coat on because they were auctioning off his stuff. He said he had to get to them. I asked questions but he couldn't say who but they were in the living room....so I told him we will go down the hall and then he needed to go back to bed cause I need to sleep too.
We get in the living room and of course it was dark but he just said they were gone. There is no reasoning with him when he is like this. He has a different facial expression that shows me he is not really in reality. He is agitated in this state of mind. He thinks I am trying to cover up some sort of plot. It is very draining to deal with a person with dementia. I got him to go back to bed and I told him to sleep until the light was in the window in his room. I knew that was probably not going to work cause it is a continual problem and he won't rest. He did get into bed peacefully but was wide awake. An hour later just as I was really getting to sleep he yells out my name over and over. Rod had to work the next morning so again I try to get Dad quiet as soon as possible.
I get to the bedroom and he is standing and ready to head for the door. I sternly ask him why he can't wait and he comes back with I am too slow.....he says he has been calling for hours and no one came....he said if you want your sleep, you should plan your day better. Now that takes the cake.
Rod says yeah, maybe I should plan HIS day better and keep him from taking so many naps! LOL
So yeah, he is UP and wide awake today.....arguing at regular intervals about seeing people that aren't there and asking me if I see them or know them. If I say no, he says, "Oh you do TOO!" If I say yep I see them, he says, "Oh well, now you are lying." haha Mom always said Dad had an answer for everything and she was right.

Today in Oklahoma

Dad was up and hungry by 8am. After breakfast he went to the living room to stretch out and take his usual nap. The phone rang and it was Bob, his cousin. Bob told me that he go the card I sent out with phone number, etc. He seemed to have a good conversation with Dad. It was certainly better than the visits he had with him in IN. Dad stayed awake for this one.LOL Soon after he hung up, Chuck, his dear friend in IN called and they talked for a little while.
I really appreciated the delay in calling Dad till he got settled in. He had a couple hard first weeks....and by him getting used to his surroundings and got back to eating again, it sure helped his attitude and he is so much more positive now. I really needed him to adjust and then see my Doctor and get squared away before he was able to really have a nice conversation with anyone. I truly believe that this new medicine he is taking is really helping. The first week with it was wobbly but as he gets more in his system I see some improvements. When Dad first came here he didn't want to live....he was just going to lay in bed and die and not eat. He couldn't do anything he said so why live. But now, he plans ahead....such as, When are we going out to that Bread restaurant again? LOL {Panera Bread} When are you going to take me to the Senior center you told me about? When do I go to the eye dr? Now THAT'S planning ahead. Before he didn't want me to even make plans.
He is enjoying the squirrels and the birds in the back yard now when he sits at the kitchen table.
See attached slide show of the Winter in Oklahoma.

**For those of you who do want to call him...It's hard to say what time is best because he still gets services from the home health care. They come and go after different times during the week. So the best thing is to just call before 3pm and if he is busy I will tell you that and tell you when would be a good time to call. Cards are always welcomed and he looks forward to me reading letters to him. He remembers all who have written and called.

Just want to mention....

I want to make it clear that most of the time Dad is mellow. He asks a lot of questions. He gets confused about where he is as he did when he was in Indiana. He thinks the rooms change. Short term memory about where everything is in the house is almost non existent. Dad thinks I have several hallways when I just have one long one. He does seem to be getting used to the house. He says it looks different than it did when he was here last in March of 09.
Dad listens to music stations that are on the TV. I play programs he likes but he really doesn't watch them. He does listen sometimes. He seems to nap better when any TV is on. He has been listening to the Bible on tape right before he goes to bed.
I don't think he really comprehends all that is said but he really perks up when it's time for me to turn the player on.
I like the response he has when I tell him what's for dinner. He is excited to hear what's in store. That's a far cry from his attitude just 2 weeks ago. So just to make it more clear that all days are not full of dementia. He carrys on plenty of conversations with us and others.
He asked me today about where he has been and about parties he says he goes to. I told him that he has dreamed them all. He finds that sooooohard to understand. I hope to find a support group and maybe I can learn how to give him a clearer answer.
I am turning the paperwork in this week for the Senior Day Center for him to be around other men his own age. I just hope it's a positive experience for him and he is not disappointed. I can see them all taking that nap in those recliners I saw in that room the other day. LOL

Another day in January

Rod got home from work at the usual time on Wednesday, the 27th, and I had a Drs Appt and the good old Mammogram to get done. So I left Rod in charge....haha No, nothing terrible happened. In spite of my stories about him and the construction and DEstruction of household items and TOPIARIES, he CAN take care of Dad very well. Amazing huh? For some reason Dad doesn't give Rod the hassle he gives me. I suppose if Rod was the main caretaker he would. I wonder.
Okay, back to the story....so I no sooner get in the door at 6pm and Dad hollers out, Wilda! Wilda! I answered and said What? Then Dad said, Rod's home.....
That's it? Rod's home? So I asked Rod.....so has Dad been yelling all the time I have been gone. Rod said No, just when you walked in the door! hahaha Figures.
So Dad went back to his nap...I just let him sleep and Rod and I ate dinner. I find that when Dad has dementia bad, which is not really the word I want but you know what I mean...then if he gets a lot of sleep he gets much better faster. So I never wake him when he has dementia. He slept from 3:30 until 8:30pm. He only woke to yell my name. ????
Rod took him to the bathroom and then I warmed up his dinner. He ate every bite and asked for warm V-8 juice. He was cold he said. He is always cold.

We are supposed to get an ice storm...remains to be seen. The weathermen said it was going to be freezing rain at 7am too and that has not happened yet. It is 32 right now and it WAS 58 yesterday so something IS coming.
Rod did bring a bunch of wood in the garage just in case. If we lose power we still have the fireplace at least.
We were only out 4-5 hours last time and we might not be so lucky this time.
People were out in big numbers last night buying everything they could just in case. I am always stocked up so I don't make those mad last minute rushes to the store.
So back to the sofa Dad went after dinner and he was still hallucinating but very calm and pleasant this evening.
He went to bed at 11:30 last night and is still asleep this morning and its 9:30am. He has no appts with anyone until PT comes at 2pm so he can sleep all he wants today. I hope he wakes refreshed and we have a pleasant day.
{Photo is of Dad at 14...only photo I have ever seen with Dad and his real teeth. He had nice straight teeth too. He told me that when he was a kid they were too poor to have toothbrushes. They used their fingers and baking soda to brush.}

DEMENTIA! Arrrggghhh

I keep reminding myself all the time that Dad has dementia and not to take the things he says personally. However, I asked myself what is it that bothers me when he says hurtful things. It's the fact that he really believes it at THAT time.
Yesterday and all evening Dad was continuing to have these hallucinations. It may seem that he is really there but all the time his mind is somewhere else. I don't know this till later when he can recall what happened. Sometimes. It's hard to explain unless you spend days with him to see it.


He had been hallucinating all day but at dinner time he asked me for the onions and cucumbers he cut up. Of course he did no such thing....but he wanted them and started to move things around on the table to search for them. He was close to knocking glasses of drink over and dropping things from the turntable onto the table. I told him, Rod told him that there weren't any cucumbers and onions.
He INSISTED there was.....finally he gave up and pouted and pushed his plate forward and told me he wasn't going to eat his dinner. I can't say I have seen him do that before. I am not sure how to handle it when he does that but Rod said, Okay, and took his plate and he covered it and Rod told me he may eat it tomorrow. Okay, but I hate for him not to have all of his dinner. Rod had a good point though because Dad will play those sorts of games from time to time and I tend to give in. Rod sees that I am tired and he thinks I should NOT jump every time Dad wants something. I suppose he is right because I have seen Dad becoming more impatient when he doesn't get something RIGHT NOW.

Dad went to the living room and sat down and still pouting....he said he wanted to call Nola.....first time he has asked to call her. I have told him to tell me if he wants to call someone.....He has asked once to talk to Louise and once she called here.
I don't have free long distance on my home phone since we have a cell phone. Dad can't hear well with the cell phones so I just gave everyone the phone number here if they want to call him. So since he asked to call, Rod used his cell to call her and have her call Dad back on his phone that is loud enough for him to hear. It's so complicated to do all those things but it gets done somehow.

So he wanted to leave here right away and move in with Nola.....he told her stuff that wasn't true.
It's not like he lies.....not intentionally. He dreams up so many situations that he believes these things actually happened. I tried to mention that but I thought never mind.....he is in that mood that's it's just not worth trying to reason with him. Rod said it would blow over and not to worry.

So later before he went to bed he was in the bathroom......I asked him why he told Nola those things that he said I did and he said What? I didn't tell her anything. He really didn't even remember what he said other than he did remember talking to her......it's very hard to communicate with a person with dementia.

So he went to bed....it was peaceful for about 2 hours....I stayed up for about an hour, although I should have gone to bed, maybe....but I figured he would be up like last night and I hate to JUST get to sleep and have to get up. He was quiet when I checked on him so I went to bed @ 10:30pm. At 11:30 I heard him yelling.....HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.....so I hurried to the room so the yelling wouldn't wake Rod and Dad was laying there on his back with his legs over the guard rail.......and I asked what he wanted.....he yelled at me....I WANT MY MONEY BACK......so obviously the next question would be What money....he comes back with...THE MONEY YOU STOLE FROM ME. I was right there on the railing trying to put his legs back in the bed and he started kicking me and I mean he can KICK hard.....I told him that I was NOT going to put up with being kicked and hit and he said OH YES YOU ARE. So strange to see him act like this.....at that point he is not the Dad I know. I try to keep reminding myself of that.....so I pulled back.....waited while he said some other nasty things, then I walked out of the room for a bit....just went to the kitchen to get some water for him. Came back to the room and he had calmed down it seemed. He said he needed to use the toilet and why haven't I taken him......*sigh*. So I take him and on the way out of the bathroom he says....."Now don't wake me up again, I need my SLEEP." *SIGH* again!!

He never made a sound that I could hear all night long but for at 7am when my alarm went off at the same time he called my name. OH what a mess I had to clean up when I got to the bedroom. So off we went to the bathroom to clean the BM up. Although that was NO fun....he says, "I didn't DO THAT....I don't know who did but it wasn't me." Okay, now I laughed, it was either that or CRY!

OT was here at 8:15 to give him a bath.....and just in time. I told her she missed the fun part and she was ever so grateful she was running late.

So he got all cleaned up, shaved, hair combed and dressed and ate breakfast. The OT gal was concerned that he might have cracked a rib because he was complaining about his back rib area being sore so the Home care company ordered an X-ray. I didn't think he had a cracked rib witht he way he was kicking last night. The X-ray tech brings the machine to the house which isreally convenient....she just left a bit ago and the results should be ready in a couple hours.

Dad is resting on the sofa peacefully. I can only hope that he wakes up in THIS WORLD and stays there for awhile. He is missing a good movie right now, Texas Carnival with RED SKELTON. Maybe it's better he sleeps!

Another Day in the Life of Odie...

Dad did finish his letter to Louise. I hadn't noticed that he did until I came back from an appt. I was gone touring a Senior Day Center facility here in BA. I think Dad would benefit from socializing with others in his own situation. I know I would benefit from a break now and then. I told Dad about it and he seemed interested and we talked about it. I was thinking a couple times a week at first and then if he liked it, maybe more days and shorter time periods. There were 7 men in the program which surprised me. Usually these places are full of women and no men. Dad seemed to particularly like Thursdays with that being the day they have Bible Study. I think we might do Mondays and Thursdays. I will need to wait till his home health care is done.

Dad needs constant observing as he is now trying to stand alone. I have caught him twice this week standing with his walker......I just walk to him and don't panic but have pleaded with him not to do that. I explain the whole thing about ending up in a cast, hospitals, pain, etc. Apparently that doesn't faze him when he has dementia in full bloom.

This morning the PT gal was due at 9am and after a long long night of Dad getting up every 2 hours with "someone" in his room. He gets very upset with me when I don't see these people. Paranoia sets in and he thinks I am "in on it with them". He went back to sleep at 7am. I let him sleep till 8:45. I got him up and ready for her and sat him in the kitchen in the chairs they do their exercises in. She pulled into the driveway and I was folding the blankets on the sofa. Dad was doing his pre exercises as he does often when he is expecting PT and OT. I turned my back on Dad for 10 seconds.....TEN SECONDS and when I turned around he was hitting the floor in the kitchen. I dropped the blanket and RAN to the kitchen. He is saying, OH don't pick me up, leave me lay, I will get up, you will hurt your back........I was upset with him and concerned at the same time. I saw he had a cut on his hand.....nothing major and not bleeding much but still a tear in delicate skin. I have this very thick dense rug RIGHT ON THE SPOT he landed. I couldn't believe the luck. I have ceramic tile kitchen floors but for this one spot where the rug is. That saved him I believe. He landed his head on the side right on it along with his shoulder. He has a little bump on the side of his brow is all. No marks anywhere else, thank goodness. Right after I got him up and seated the PT gal came in and we told her what happened and she tried AGAIN to talk to DAD about this. She said it's very common when patients are getting better to think they can do it all again like the once did and they almost always fall.

He was up 5 times all night and by 5:30am he was up out of his bed and on the floor in his bedroom. He had pulled the guard off, which really took some doing, and asking me where I have been???? Oh Lord, here we go with some more of his traveling stories. Apparently he had been down the river...not just any river but the MISSISSIPPI RIVER.

I mean it's not funny when he does all this but YET he adds humor and I can't help but laugh at what he says because it's so dang funny. So Rod lifts him up from the floor as it was time for Rod to get up anyway....all the while Dad is going on about his adventures. I get him in the bathroom and while he is on the pot I am once again lecturing him.......{like it does any good} and Dad puts his fingers in his ears....and I started to laugh cause that's what I have been known to do to Rod and I NOW know where I got this from. LOL So I called Rod to come back and see what Dad was doing and then Rod started to laugh and said he guessed I just couldn't help but do that too. It was so funny that Dad started to laugh. Normally I find NOTHING funny at 5:30am but this was FUNNY.

What's NEXT?

Writing a Letter to Louise.

Dad said he wanted some paper and a pen to write a letter to Louise, his girlfriend in Indiana. He did write a line and then didn't like it....so he wanted me to get some masking tape and cover his eyeglasses. Did that and that didn't work to stop the double vision. So I covered his eye with a cotton pad and taped it....that helped and now he is practicing to write. I have only been called from my office as I write this, at least 6 times because Dad needed something. LOL This last time was an emergency to the bathroom. I have to move fast...patience and Dad to not connect. He might get this letter done at the end of the week at this rate. 2 hours later.....He still hasn't finished that letter to Louise....first he came back from the bathroom and said he wanted to lie on the sofa and rest awhile. That lasted about 40 minutes....he called me and there he was in the living room, standing and holding onto his walker....calmly I asked what he wanted and apparently there was some "kids" in the living room and they were tearing things up....so I told him I saw no kids...redirected him to something else and then he said he wanted to go back to the kitchen table. He practiced writing and then asked for popcorn that I brought back from the movies yesterday. He can't see BUT he saw that bag of popcorn....hmm....then he ate like 6 cups of that....and sat there and started to write.....nothing much.....was distracted a dozen times talking to some man sitting at the table. Then asked me what his name was. Dad, Dad, Dad....I always tell him the truth. Then he says I am wrong. So what's new? ha I started to make some chocolate chip cookies with walnuts and oatmeal. Dad asked me what I was doing and I told him making chocolate chip cookies (he can’t smell very well)....and then he says....when will they be ready? Haha

Sunday's Events

Dad slept in today....all the way to 9am!ha He is up and hungry....didn't even want to shave....he says let the nurse gal do it. He is funnnneeeee today! Then he went to the sofa and watched TV with us.....and he got a call from one of his good friends. Each day Dad comments that he is getting stronger. He can feel it he said. He is not walking all by himself but I think he might one day soon. With the walker of course. At least with one of us close by. He is hungry and that's really nice for a change. I remember back 2-5 weeks ago and more and he didn't want much at all. Now he wants to know when do we eat and what are we having? So here he is with his dinner tonight. Smiling EVEN!

Walking Should Not be Taken for Granted.

Dad's walking is unbelievably better than it was even when he was in Indiana. Not sure why but it may be a combination of several things. He still has trouble holding his head up while he is walking. He says he can't but he can if he practices more. He is afraid of falling. So he holds his head down so he can see where he is going but that tends to unbalance him. One day when the Home health nurse was here, Dad was in his bedroom and had not got up yet.....she was here to bathe him....so he was awake and sitting on the bed.....suddenly I heard him talking and he was a lot closer than he should be and I got up and there he was, walking down the hall toward the living room. WITHOUT THE WALKER. Scared me.....and he was doing a good job too. Boy did his eyes get big when he saw me cause he knows he shouldn't try to walk by himself. Oh the nurse told him the same thing. He said he felt like he could do it so he did. That's DAD! He likes to tell us what to do but HE won't DO as he SAYS! I would say for the last 5 days he has been walking basically alone with us holding the belt just to steady him and just in case. He does wobble from side to side on occasion but always corrects his balance 99% of the time. I hope this continues.

Another Weekend...

Dad has had a few good days in a row. He does seem to sleep better as I did get him a 4" memory foam topper for his bed. That helps in keeping down the pressure on his skin as well. He went to sleep at 11pm and got up at 8:30am. We had breakfast of eggs and chorizo. Dad sure ate all that down fast. I was making a cheesecake later in the morning and asked the "boys" who wanted the beaters....lol Dad answered first with a ME and a grin on his face. The other "little boy" got the bowl. It's been a lazy Saturday......watching TV, napping.....not me of course....I am doing laundry and catching up with a dozen other things. We are going out for a late lunch at Panera Bread. I asked Dad yesterday if he had ever had soup in a bread bowl and he said no. I explained to him what it was and how good it was and OH he was ready for one of them. LOL .....Later that same evening..... Dad had the bread bowl of soup and he said it was too much. haha So he ate the vegetable soup and then had a black cherry smoothie and then said that was too cold......he said he would rather have had another bowl of soup! Figures....so Rod got him another bowl of the same soup. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it that he got seconds again. He is eating very well. When we got home we had the cheesecake I had made and he ate his without leaving a crumb and said it was the best he ever had. I don't hear that too often from Dad....so I guess I will have to make that one again. So off to bed he went at 9pm.....said he finally wasn't cold anymore. But before he went to bed he said the bed wasn't soft enough. OH LORD! Yesterday it was so comfortable.....then the couch is too hard, then too soft......I told him he was too picky. He agreed.

The Power of the Right Medicine

I am glad to announce that Dad is gaining weight. He has gained 3# in the last 4 days. He had been saying he liked being thin until one day he saw his boney knees and commented on them. Ah ha, he finally saw it for himself. I believe the new medicine he is taking DID increase his appetite. I counted on my Doctor to get him on the right road and it sure looks like he did. We went out to a Steak house last night and Dad wants to go to Panera Bread tonight so it might be dieting in the future. LOL

Another COLLAGE...

Good start for Thursday....

Dad woke up at about 8:30am and met with the PT Gal, Karen at 9am. That went well and she remarked how much he has improved his walking and endurance. {She said Your Daughter is doing a remarkable job.) Dad laughed. Not sure what that meant but at least he found it amusing.
He had breakfast and told me what has been happening the last few days. Seems like he has been to a party.....yep, a PARTAAAAAAAYYYY. He said the guy who gave him a bath yesterday, Dale, was the last one to come to the Party. So then he said that he hates it when he isn't himself. He then said why can't I do that and it be fun and good instead of bad and unpleasant? Good question I said. I said that's the nature of the Beast, Parkinson's. Paranoia is not good. You don't have Paranoia and then have a good time. That was a good question he asked though. WHY can't victims of Dementia have a good time and experience pleasure? Maybe they do in some cases but not Dad.
His life has been full of work, disappointments, death, more work, responsibilities that were far beyond what he should have done in his life. He and Mom should have been enjoying themselves after retirement. Not taking care of other people's problems pushed upon him. If he had more fun in his life then maybe his "dreams" would be different. Who knows how things would be if only IF.

What's the Story Today?

****************************
Good thing I did get too excited about the improvements....although Dad is still walking with the walker again....so that's a good thing. He has had just ONE 'TIA. That one just lasted 15 seconds.
http://americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4781
{copy & paste that, if necessary}

The last 36 hours have been uhhhhh, shall I say, draining?
That's not really the word but you fill in the blanks.
Dad has a sharp tongue when he wants to pour it on, let me tell you.
I can't even repeat most of what he said because few would believe me anyway.
Rod saw it first hand for the first time and I think he is still trying to believe it.
That's the hardest for me to deal with. That's 100 times worse than any physical work I do for Dad.

He finally said this morning at about 11am..."Okay, kid, I won't argue with you anymore."
Argue? Oh my, if ONLY it was JUST that. Yesterday afternoon was so bad that I just broke down in tears. There's no response to the things he says....he really believes all of it. He believes what his mind is telling him. I need a way to handle it better than I do. Crying is emotionally draining for me over something I know he can't help right now.
Rod reminded me that he has dementia but it still hurts me.
I have had maybe 3 solid hours of sleep in the last 2 days. Rod stayed up with Dad all last evening while I tried to sleep but I could hear Dad from the living room.
There are some days he won't lay down for more than an hour at a time and then he is wide awake, yelling my name, only to tell me some wild story that is developing in his head.
So please, NO ONE tell me to take a nap when he lays down. I have tried that dozens of times....only to have my sleep broken and that really is not the answer.
I wish I had a dollar for each time I have been told now you need to lay down when he does.

He is finally resting on the sofa now. Who knows for how long. Ooops, spoke too late...he is yelling my name again.

NO MORE WHIPPING CREAM

I didn't want to get too excited about the improvements that Dad is making in the last few days but I decided to go ahead and mention them.
The only thing that is changed medically for him is a pain medicine and an anti-depressant that also works as an appetite stimulator. That is working wonderfully for his appetite. He is eating seconds now....I may have to cut back. LOL No more whipping cream on his cake I guess.
His mind is much clearer. {although he did tell the OT gal this morning that I wouldn't let him see in the box where the bunny was.} lol
Here's a photo of Dad just this morning. 

It's a sight none of us have seen since the 3rd week of August 2009.

Moe and Joe...

Odie's Joke of the Week...as told by Dad
Moe and Joe were walking along the railroad tracks.
Moe started lagging behind and he asked Joe if he had to go to the bathroom....Joe said nope.
A little while later Moe asked Joe, "Are you sure you don't have to go to the bathroom? Joe said no.
Moe got another whiff of Joe and asked once again....."Are you sure you don't need to use the bathroom, cause you sure smell like it...."
With that Joe answered, "Oh that was from yesterday."

Some of the hard stuff to deal with....

Dad complains a lot....I mean A LOT. lol Too cold, too hot, not warm enough.....too gritty, too salty, and so forth. He wrinkles up his nose and mouth when he takes his medicines.Then he complains if he doesn't get them often enough. It's not been easy at all. Oh yeah, he is funny at times but I don't say much about the other stuff. I decided to add that too cause it's very much a part of the daily routine.
He will call me from his bedroom yelling my name....if I am not there in less than 10 seconds he yells again over and over shouting loudly. I get there and sometimes he will say where have you been? haha I will say, It took me 30 seconds to get here Dad from your first call.....he will argue and say, No, it did NOT, I have been calling for an hour.
What does one say to that?
One time a couple weeks ago I had to use the bathroom before I could get him up and dressed.....so I took him to the toilet and took him back to bed and told him I would be back just as soon as I got done in the bathoom. I put the rail up on his bed. I turned on the TV and  I hurried cause I know he will try to get up by himself. I was in the bathroom for about 15 minutes.  I was glad not to hear the alarm on his bed going off.....so I get to his room and he says to me....."You have to be the most selfish person on this earth to make me wait to get up while you take care of yourself."
Never in my life would I have ever expected to hear something like that from Dad.
I honestly was crushed. I had no words for that....I just said, According to all the knowledge I have about being a caretaker, I should take care of myself in order to take care of you."
He told me that was bullshit. {exact words} I left the room to weep.
Not funny at all. Of course if he knew he said that to me he was be so upset with himself...I just let it go and not let it get to me too much.

He knows I don't want to be woke up in the middle of the night. Who does? That's why we make sure he has all that he needs before he goes to bed. He has woke me yelling my name over and over....for things like a baby in the bed, a dog on the floor, a groundhog eating his sheets, and on and on. I tell him to go back to sleep and stop yelling....Rod has to get up in the morning and he can't work with little sleep. He will say he don't care. Do something about what's in his room.
I shut his door, turn the lights on so he can look around. Nothing there I tell him. He argues. I say okay, well, I will take care of whatever it might be in the morning but right now I am going back to bed. This can go on for several hours. Up every hour with the same complaint.

This morning at 7:30 he was hitting the guard rail with his hand....I got out of my bed, walk over to his room to see what the noise was. He said he was cold and trying to turn the bed light on. There is no bed light. Yes there is he says. I told him he didn't want the covers on at night, just the sheet and that's why you are cold. I pointed to the quilt which was behind him and he said he didn't know it was there although I tell him each night before he goes to bed it's there if he needs it. Memory is bad short term. I told him that maybe he should have the quilt on all night so when he wakes up at least he won't be cold. He told me I was ridiculous.
So there is a lot to deal with.

Another Collage

Night Out at the Movies...

January 15, 2010...Tonight we made plans to go to Tulsa Community College to watch a silent movie with music from a 1928 Pipe organ.
So we left in time to get there at 6:30 and it was already getting crowded. I got a spot for Dad on the front row. The movie was Son of the Sheik with Rudolph Valentino.
It started off pretty good....Dad seemed to be enjoying the music before the film. He ate popcorn and drank his water I brought for him. As time went on {about an hour} I could see he was tired of sitting, even with all the padding in his chair.  By the time the music ended he was complaining of being "miserable" for the last hour.....the movie was too long...the organ was too loud....he was tired of sitting.
I tried to get him out of the house to do some things because when he was on the phone with Louise he was saying that he doesn't go anywhere. LOL
By the time he had that conversation he had already been out to Panera bread and to the group talking with the old folks there in the previous two days.
He forgets.
It has been way too cold to take him out just to get out of the house....he has been to the Dr. twice and we stopped for a strawberry shake.....he said that was too thick. lol
So I learned to take short trips and do things that don't last too long.
I am going to look into some day care for him....to be with people his age.

I found it strangely similar to taking care of a toddler. I don't mean that in a negative way either. Seeing that Dad has a short attention span just like a toddler so it makes him happy to do things where he is not made to sit long. Something short and lively. He does better with that. Rod does too! haha

Winter Time

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Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The COLD weather seems to have past for now. It's no longer 10 degrees here. In fact now that it's warmer we all have been getting out and about. We went to Panera Bread for the first time and Dad really seemed to enjoy that. He loved the vegetable soup and bread. He said, "We don't have one of these at home". That's when I knew he liked the place. It's where Rod and I hang out alot. Chris came to join us for dinner too.
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Thursday, January 14, 2010
We went to the TOPS group tonight...Rod and Dad stayed with the "old men" and gabbed. Some of the wives were there meeting Dad too. He was talking up a storm when I came up the stairs to take this photo before going back to my meeting. The meeting is held at the Senior Center and I think Dad had a good time getting out and meeting some new people.

Taking Dad out for Fellowship.

This is a group of folks at the Senior Center. Some are TOPS members, some come with their wives. The men chat by the pool tables while we have a meeting.

Odus and Brandy

Dad has good days and bad days. The first two weeks were sorta rough for Dad. He wanted to sleep alot and the dementia was pretty controlling for him. I decided to make an early appt with my Dr for him to get started on some REAL pain management. Dad started that a week ago and I am seeing many improvements. I am convinced when you are in pain it leads to depression and the depression leads to not eating and the will to go on is almost at a stand still. HOWEVER...since Dad's pain is being managed better than ever, the depression is much less....he is now eating much better and his strength is getting stronger. I hope to report each week there is improvements each day. {Here is a photo of Dad with Brandi, who was his home health aide in Indiana. Gosh we MISS HER! Brandi knows her stuff and so far we have had no one like HER!}

Short Funny Stories...

Some short funny stories from Dad One day in November…. Dad was seeing things that were not there and it went like this. Wendy: There’s nothing there Dad….. Dad: Well, it showed up on my screen. ***************************************** WILDA, come quick……there is a car coming through the wall and it’s halfway through. I was awake now but saying that I was not getting up to see a car coming through the wall. He says fine, but you are going to miss it. I did get up as I saw that he was half off the recliner and sitting way down with his legs dangling. I got up to sit him up straight. All the while he is going on about the little people playing the organ, of which there is none in Dad’s house. I told him that there wasn’t an organ and I was not going to play into his story and he said Okay fine, thanks for your help. LOL Go on back to bed then. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rod, Dad and I were in the living room and Dad was hallucinating but making some sense……he said there was a lady there in the room….he said he didn’t know her name…and I said, why don’t you ask her what her name is and his reply was, “I guess I am bashful” Oh and my wife will get after me.” OH MY GOD we just laughed and laughed and Dad even laughed at that answer and grinned ear to ear. Oh it was so funny and how I recalled how Mom WOULD have got after him…..she would have said she was Mrs. Invisible and commented how he was busy talking to all the women and she was over there by herself…..and I repeated all that to Dad and he just grinned, seemingly to remember how Mom WOULD have reacted to him talking to “that” woman. ***************************************** Every day Dad entertains us in some sort of fashion like that. Earlier in the day we all had eaten at the table….Dad ate well and after dinner I asked him if he wanted any coffee. Oh yes he said, coffee sounded good…. I had some coffee singles of vanilla flavor so I made a cup in the machine for making one/two cups at a time. So I carefully cooled the coffee down for him with some French Vanilla creamer….and stirred it. I got ready to give it to him and told him to take a sip from the straw that we use to ease his swallowing and he asked what it was and I said coffee and he squealed, Ohhhhh I don’t want that and wrinkled up his face at me…..Rod and I both started to laugh because it didn’t surprise us that he had completely forgotten that he even wanted it. I gave it to Rod. We went into the living room and sat for a while, Dad telling stories and then out of the blue he asked, "Hey, where's MY coffee?" ,with his eyes big looking at Rod. OMG, we laughed and laughed. All the while Dad looking at US like we were nuts. Ya can't make this stuff up! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Later that same evening Rod was sitting next to him and he was talking about moving things around near the sofa…he had a box of balls….and he says The hell I ain’t….this coming from a man who did NOT cuss, and then said “You people shuffled me around….and blew my mind.” Hahaha How can you not just burst out laughing? He is totally unmoved at the humor of it all sometimes….just as serious as he can be while he still continues to maneuver whatever he thinks is out of order on the couch and in front of him….mostly invisible items. *****************************************

A Day at the Spa

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Life is rough here at the Spa....lol

I try to tell Dad the positive of it all but as usual, Dad can't see how he is better off than many others his age. He said so far the ice chips he gets is the best. LOL However he never refuses a treatment like this. Hmmmm.

COLLAGE

Here is a Collage of the many photos of Odie that I have. See them all in a slide show on this Blog.

FIRST POST OF DAD'S BLOG...

Hello Family, Friends, and Curious Onlookers... This is a Diary of sorts for my Dad. He is 89 years old and has come to live with me, his Daughter, Wendy Rose and my husband Rod. Dad moved in with us on December 29, 2009. He made the trip to Oklahoma in a 12 hour drive....he did well on the trip. We stopped several times for bathroom breaks....and a long stop at Cracker Barrel Restaurant. I ordered a soft breakfast for Dad since he has trouble eating and swallowing. He ate most of it and then said to me..."Why are you eating my dinner. I ordered pot roast." Rod and I started to laugh....cause in reality I ordered HIS dinner first before Rod and I even gave our orders. Rod had to park the car and was late getting in the restaurant so I went ahead and got Dad's order started. So I said to Dad that he could have some of mine.....but he wanted more than that....he wanted the whole thing and then complained I had HIS carrots too! It was funnnnneeee. You see, Dad has dementia....and also it may be sad to some, it can be very interesting and entertaining EVEN to Dad when he realizes what he has just said. Yes, he does know he has dementia and he does know that sometimes he sees "things". Sometimes in the middle of delusion he will stop and say, "It's not really there is it?" We take one day at a time..... I have many stories to share and will be working on this Blog for a while, updating frequently and as time allows me.