Updating the Status of Dad's Wherabouts...

I am not caring for Dad 24/7 at this time. He is with my sister for a 3 month period. We are about an hour away from each other. I was concerned about his inactivity since he won't be going to the Senior Center daily but I set up home health care for him to get exercise and for my sister to get some help. After all she did point out that she was TEN years older than me. LOL However, she is always also saying how much she is capable of so therefore I had the impression that taking care of Dad would be a BREEEZE for her. Not so I guess. I went to make my first visit just a few days after dropping Dad off with her. She had plenty of stories to tell and she told them to ME like they would be NEW stories. hahaha




She will laugh about all this LATER!!!

This is a good break for ME.....and Dad will be excited to go back to Oklahoma after he has heard the howling tune of 10 dogs, including mine that I had to leave with her, for the umpteenth time. LOL. They bark at mealtime like you would not believe......I mean Dad was even plugging his ears and he is near deaf. Okay, I was laughing I admit. But the good thing is that Dad has a new friend in one of the little Dachshunds......the dog protects Dad even from my sister as she told the story.
Daisy, my Beagle has a new friend in one of the other dogs who plays with her and that's just what she needed to fit in. She had to learn new eating habits....and that was to eat as fast as the other dogs because if she didn't, the other dogs would get hers and she would starve! lol She has never had to eat like that but the first time she did, she scarfed her food down to my surprise. I do wonder how that will play out when she gets home. She may enjoy going back to being the only "child". In fact, I think Dad will enjoy it too. lol
This might just be a good experience for all.
Nola knew what care Dad was....and like I say, if it was not for Rod, I am not sure I would be able to do all that it needed for Dad with my back and knee problems. Rod has them too but he whines less than me. lol

So this will be an odd Christmas....of course I would rather be home....with my husband and in my own home. I searched my heart for this decision for a few days.....I cried at night saying that I didn't want to go....but I knew I had to go. I wasn't sure how I was going to travel with Dad and the puppy all that way in the car.....but we did make it. Not sure how we did it so well, but we did.

I am no Spring chicken myself. I think Rod has planned to fly up here to drive us back home though. He wanted to do that when I left but I told him I would do okay and he should not worry. We made it in good time and I updated Rod frequently and I know he worried just a little less to hear from me every couple of hours.

I have told my Granddaughter Kiara just how much I love her and how much it took to come be with her and her sister for this length of time. She is 13 and may not understand....but one day she will know exactly how much I love her.....more than my own life I believe. She is the shining light of my life. Dad did understand why I was doing all this.....like he said, "You gotta do what you gotta do, kid." KID? Yeah, only if I was a kid....I would let Dad take ALL the responsibility like he used to. lol

So for all of you who read this blog who know Dad and live near my sister or want to see him and travel to her home, you will need to contact her to make arrangements to go out to see him. I will not be bringing him to his hometown to meet with anyone. There is no place in town to take him. Keep in mind he has his good and bad days so you might want to plan with my sister to visit on HIS schedule. She has a lot of barking dogs so if that is not your thing, keep that in mind.

Chicken Pickens Brother...

Well, Dad should have been a comedian....don't think I haven't thought of putting him on the stage at the local Comedy Club open mic night!
Sometimes it's hard to write this stuff because if I had to repeat the details for EACH and everything that comes out of his mouth, there is no way I could do it because it makes NO sense, which is why it's so darn funny.
Right at this moment he is sitting across the living room from me talking up a storm about totally unrelated subjects and sentences that do not connect. He has taken off his socks and playing with his toes talking about Mexicans, some "doins" that's going on and he can't find the paperwork, spiders the size of his hands headed MY way across the floor AND the usual water runnin' all over the floor story.
Way too much information for me to keep up...
That's not why I am writing though....this was about last night. If you read the blog previous to this one then you will understand the rest of this post. IF you did not read it, I would suggest you do because this post will make NO sense to you if you don't.
{I am trying to concentrate and listen to Dad and I keep laughing.....he just said, "There he is pulling up to the dimer"....yes, I spelled that right....has no meaning....but then he goes on with, "There he is right now, pulled up to the side door....he is listening to your writing." "Rod has been marking off inches, look at the water run back."

It's easy to get sidetracked here.

So last night Corey and I brought home Chinese food.
You mention food to Dad and his eyes just pop nearly out of his head.
Rod helps him to the table and it begins.
Dad started talking nonsense and we all couldn't even keep food in our mouths.
But the BIG laugh came when Dad told me that I wasn't giving him the food that he wanted....his eyes got real big and he told me I was holding back the good stuff and not letting him have it. {not true, of course}
I told him I would give him more when he finished what he had.
Then he asked me the name of the chicken he was eating.
I told him it was Teriyaki Chicken.....and that opened the door.

Then Dad's eyes got real big and he blurted out, "I KNOW HIM." I looked at Dad still trying to recover from all the other stuff and I asked, "You know WHO?" Dad tried to repeat Teriyaki Chicken but wasn't very successful and I started to laugh so hard, Corey lost it and Rod couldn't talk. So I was laughing so hard I couldn't talk either but I managed to ask Dad if he was CHICKEN PICKENS BROTHER????

Climbin' & Diggin" with my Friend Chicken Picken...

Just to give credit where credit is due...Corey titled this story...
Went to church in the morning with Dad, Rod, and Corey. All seemed normal till we got to the restaurant.
Dad started in on stories for some reason. During the meal in which we were constantly entertained I nearly choked while drinking my soda, had to hold my head down in order...Corey had to cover his mouth so he didn't lose his food.
We were talking about driving back to Indiana soon in which I would be driving and Dad would be the passenger. From the last trip we took I have to take special measures to keep him away from the steering wheel and quite possibly find a way to make him sleep. haha He was awake the ENTIRE 14 hours the last trip back to OK and we were going out of our minds with Dad constantly complaining about something, trying to grab the wheel while Rod was driving and talking about total nonsense stuff. So I was thinking I could possibly go nuts this trip.

During this discussion in which Dad was asking questions and surprisingly paying attention to the conversation he says......."I won't be able to help you drive, I don't think." The laughing at the table begins.....REALLY? You mean you are not sure that you are unable to help me drive???? Lord help me on this trip. I know for sure not to leave the keys in the car while I go out of the vehicle for any reason AT ALL.
It was one thing after another coming out of his mouth. The reason he couldn't drive, he discovered was because his eyeballs were about 6" to the front of him and that causing sight issues. BAM, BAM.....then another subject jumped into his head and we were laughing again just after we had got control after the last bright idea.
Watching him eat while he was talking was just as funny as the subjects he had. He had pepper on his bananas and kiwi. I tried to fix it and he snapped at me to leave it alone, that's what he wanted. Then I did assist him with the pepper sauce and he said I didn't put enough.....so Corey added more and then he ate all those eggs and sausage with hot sauce. He said it was just right. Who is this man??? He wouldn't eat that stuff before today!! He tried to eat his napkin. Yes, the napkin.....he had so much jelly and sauce on that napkin from sticking it in his plate that he thought it was food. He picked the napkin up with his hand and tried to stick it in his mouth and eat it. Corey just laughed and laughed and nearly caused a disturbance. haha Dad was just as serious as can be about the whole thing. I thought it was my MOTHER that could tell a story without laughing and bring us all to tears but Dad was just as good in his old age.
I was glad when it was time to leave the restaurant because I couldn't take much more of Dad's antics. My stomach hurt and I needed a break!
I tried to get my camera out to video tape this but the battery was going dead and I was laughing so hard I couldn't even find the camera icon because of the tears in my eyes.

We got home and Dad was wide awake, something unusual....and he was sitting in his chair in his bedroom. I had told him to stay in that chair and do not try to get out of it with the footrest up. There were a couple times I had to go in his room to see what he was yelling about....once it was because he needed to get out of the chair to go see that man that told him he needed to change the oil in the car.....so like a dummy I ask WHAT CAR ? Never did get an answer for that cause Dad just changes mid stream and brings up something else. He gets mad at me cause I won't go talk to the MAN about the oil.

About an hour later I hear him yelling my name outside my office door....like in a panic. I open my office door, which I shut while Daisy is with me cause she "wanders" and there he is unassisted standing with his walker, eyes wide open and in a panic....saying,

"That hound dog is trying to get out of the fence." There is no way he could see that from his chair....and NOT ONLY THAT, Daisy, the hound dog, was with ME in my office with the door closed. He thought that she was in the back yard trying to dig under the fence to get to the other side.

Corey comes down the hall from his room to see what was going on and asked Dad why was he walking around without anyone to help....and he said, "Do you still have your dog?"
So Corey and I try to pull out of him what in the heck is he talking about. He just started to say the same thing over and over about how she {Daisy} got out even though SHE was under his feet at the time while he was being led back to the sofa to sit down.
I left the room to attend to Daisy and Corey comes to the laundry room where I am and tells me that Grandpa is wondering we overfed the chickens????
Yes, I said CHICKENS. What chickens?
We don't own any chickens, Corey said to Dad.....Dad thought that Corey said KNOW any chickens....and Corey continued with we don't know any chickens either.
Dad said, "I DO!" Corey inquired while laughing, "WHAT CHICKENS DO YOU KNOW?"
Then Dad seriously as can be told Corey, "A man my age whose last name was Pickens." So apparently Dad knows a guy HIS AGE called CHICKEN PICKENS.

{Folks....I can't make stuff up....this is exactly how Dad tells it.} We laughed and laughed.....and finally got Dad to laugh along.

At this point I think even HE thinks it is ridiculous!! I just told him to go to sleep...I am tired. Take a nap Dad so we all can get some REST!

In a few moments Corey was back in my office telling me that Dad is still going on about how the chickens are trying to get into the house. He is really having one of those days in which the mind is working faster than he can keep up with it.

Never Asleep During a Meal !!

When my Dad was a young boy I think food was high on his priority list. As it is for most people but as I have observed my Dad over the years I think he had a special relationship with food.
Mom used to get so perturb at the fact that he was watch HOW much food she put on HER plate and he always had his nose in someone else's plate. I can remember filling my plate up as a kid and Dad would ask if I was going to eat ALL that.
One has to laugh now at observing him in his later years as to just how much that food means to him.
When the Dr's in Indianapolis suggested that he have a stomach tube after a gall bladder surgery I didn't even hesitate in replying to that idea. Ain't no way my Dad is ever going to go for that. He lives to eat. He doesn't eat to live.

And if you have been following this blog you will know that he would rather die choking to death on popcorn than ever be full with a stomach tube.

So as the story goes he loves food. So much that it is pretty much the only thing he stays awake for these days.

Example...
Sunday morning we get him up for church. We take turns around here getting him washed up, teeth in, shaved, dressed, morning pills and correct attire for the weather. Usually it's Rod and me trading off while we both get ready but Corey helps with it all now and then. {IF he is up and ready himself} So out the door we go....Dad gets seated and it is almost instantly he closes him eyes in the car on that LONG 2.5 mile trip to the church. Then his eyes are open and he walks all the way to the sanctuary with his walker and usually unassisted. It's a stretch too so he does good. By the time he reaches the seat his eyes are ready to shut....he sleeps through most of the service, leaning one way or the other and drooling on his shirt unless I manage to sneak a Kleenex under his chin until I wake him for communion. Then he closes his eyes again until the prayers are done and we are dismissed and it's time to mosey on down the isle out to the car.
Once in the car, his eyes are closed UNTIL we reached Egg It On, the place for brunch! Oh his eyes are so wide open even for the 15-20 minute wait until we get a table. NOT ONCE has he complained about the wait either....his eyes are open the ENTIRE time we sit at the table....he eats every scrap of food, cleans the plate, used up about 4 giant thick napkins, drank a couple cups of sweet tea or ice water with lemon. Then he announces he is full and ready to go....yep, you guessed it....once out in the car, he is asleep all the way home until Rod opens the door and helps this poor old man to the inside of the house and to the couch....and he is asleep for the REST of the ENTIRE afternoon.
Dad says I exaggerate...but I don't have to. He eats as much as his 19 year old Grandson who can eat just about anything in no time.
Here's a photo to prove it. He eats all that and more at times.

Help, Help, Help...

Dad's laying in the bed this afternoon....resting, I thought...
I am on the phone with my Granddaughter and I hear...

"HELP, HELP, HELP!"

I tell my Granddaughter Grandpa is yelling for help and I have to go see what's going on.
I get to his bed.
I see his legs are over the hospital bed railing.
I asked him why he was yelling for HELP.

His answer?
"I just wanted you to know where I was. I heard you talking and wasn't sure if you knew."

Just another day at the crazy house.

Rootin'Tootin' Odie

What can I say about an old man and his toileting? I have cleaned more messes that I did combined of all of my four children when it comes to Dad.
Without being too graphic I will explain just what it's like dealing with a sometimes incontinent 92 year old male who is not cooperative in doing as we ask.
I would love to tell it just as it is in plain language but something tells me that if Dad knew I was sharing this at all he would have a fit. lol Not that I am concerned that he will read it or that someone will tell him. It's just the fear of thinking that it could occur! lol He can't ground me anymore....but still, once a daughter, always a daughter. Dad could put me to work for lesser offenses!

So on occasion Dad becomes uhhhhh stopped up. His terminology is colorful, let's just say. This has been a lifetime battle he says. I say had he eaten right all his life instead of the gravies, meat and carbs, he would not have had this problem now. Of course he disagrees because......that's what he does! He never drank enough water during the day....he didn't have juices to drink. He and Mom both had the same bad habits. Henceforth they both had the same problems. Dad proudly said he could go all day without something to drink. Mom and Dad would laugh at us, Rod, I and the kids, because we carried cups around wherever we went. They were in the car, filled always just for something to drink all day long. It's a lesson they should have followed. So now Rod and I, oh and Corey now have the displeasure of dealing with Dad and his uhhhh pooping problem.
I have worked for 3 years to finally get him off laxatives and the ridiculous routine he had of not having a BM for 5-6 days. When he lived alone he would call my sister and I only after he waited that length of time to tell us. Time after time.....and of course he would end up in the hospital because he waited to long and he couldn't do anything to help himself. Oh my Dad is a riot when it comes to excuses......even now. He has his solutions to the problem that require a rubber glove. Think on that for a moment. Yeah. Oh I am so against him doing that and I told him the other night, NO, I am not giving you a rubber glove....we need to fix this problem from the inside out....not the outside in. You could rupture your bowel.
So the mistake Rod made was leaving him alone to try and do some pushing to end "our" misery....cause this had gone on for 2 days. I had changed his brief so many times that I had filled the tall trash can in his bathroom. It was not the bulk part of it but the watery part of it....oh my God you have not lived until you deal with this mess for days. He never managed to make it to the toilet in time....and then he tries to help you pull the brief down while you are yelling, "Don't touch anything......then again, I said Don't touch a THING Dad.....he keeps on until you have to look him in the face and say, LISTEN TO ME, KEEP YOUR HANDS OUT OF THE BRIEF. LOL By this time you have an audience and the two other men in the house are laughing at my struggle to get Dad to listen to me. Dad's answer...."I was just trying to help." For the umpteenth time he is trying to help. Each time we go through this it's like the 1st time for Dad....he just doesn't remember going through this before. So he says.
So Rod leaves him in the bathroom the other night alone. I am hiding out somewhere....lol I had already spent 24 hours dealing with every few hours of Dad yelling the words somewhere in the house....."Oh No, I crapped my pants!" There's no time to get to the bathroom. Now you would think that I gave him a dose of the stuff you take for a colonoscopy. Nope, just the regular fiber chewables and his regular dose of Miralax just to keep him moving.
So I finally appear through the living room and see Rod in his chair, but no Dad in his. I asked where he was and Rod says in the bathroom. I walk into the bathroom and there he is, in all his glory, his hand in the air covered in............yeah, you guessed it. I was upset to say the least. So when I asked what part of no did you not understand when Rod told you that was not acceptable to do, he replies, "Well, someone had to do it, you wouldn't. Didn't you know what you had taken on when you brought me here?" LOL
I think my face turned 10 shades of red. I thought I was going to burst. Thank goodness at least Rod was in there by now....going to get me an old toothbrush that I could use to clean his hands and then throw away. I had to glove up and try to keep him from touching anything in the room. You can't imagine how hard that is because to him, he doesn't have anything on his hand. He will tell you it's your fault cause you didn't get him the glove. hahahahaha This is a no win situation. So I take a deep breath, sigh, sometimes the tears roll down my cheeks from exhaustion, and plod on.
I spent an hour today taking off the toilet seat and thoroughly bleaching it and cleaning it because he hits the back of the seat into the hinges. Oh it's always a battle to get him to sit right on the toilet. Then this morning, it hit me....just take the plastic seat off. He fits fine without it and I won't have that mess to clean yet again for the 100th time! I am a genius! lol
"These are the days that try men's souls". I truly understand that quote. I truly do.
I try not to cuss but as anyone in the house will tell you, sometimes I am not successful and the words fly out like hot fudge on ice cream. I have a whole repertoire of phrases for such occasions. lol
So now we are into day 3 of watery substances which has kept him from the Sr Center because as you well can imagine, they don't want to deal with this and I don't blame them.
Right now he is sleeping on the sofa. He could explode at any moment. I must go check. Tata!

Update on the Bathroom Faucet...

Like clockwork Dad didn't wait but 5 weeks to make a negative comment about the new bathroom faucet.
We were getting him ready for bed with the usual routine of taking his teeth out at the sink. Sometimes it's like Dad is learning all this for the first time. He forgets, he says. I remind him how many years he took his teeth out but he still gets confused. I keep him thinking though, I won't do it for him and eventually he gets it right.
But back to the sink faucet. There he is trying to turn the faucet off with touching everywhere on the spout...not the handle that turns it off. He says, "Darn thing, can't find where to turn it off." I sorta laugh cause I know whatsacomin'. Then I said, you have to push the HANDLE down to turn it off. I reminded him that's the faucet he wanted.

Sure enough, next words out of his mouth, ""Not quite, I thought I was getting one like what's in the kitchen." hahahaha I just started laughing. Just laughed and laughed and walked in the living room to tell Rod. hahaha

I did tell him that it took him a whole 5 weeks to complain....that was a record for longest time without complaining.

Daisy & Dad

We got a new puppy yesterday. She is fitting right in. She is a very smart puppy. She comes from a very long line of registered hunting dogs. She is a Beagle. She heard something on the other side of the fence yesterday and she stood at point....tail out straight and head up with right paw up. I couldn't believe it....so young and ready to hunt. We aren't raising her as a hunting dog though. She will be a family pet with training. Puppy school starts in 3 weeks! lol I am still working on her AKC name. So far, it's Daisy, Duchess of ???? Not sure of the rest but I have a form to fill out so I better come up with one soon in time for class to start.

She sat in Dad's lap right away....but Dad sleeps so much and the dementia gets to him that it's hard to let him take much responsibility for her....as she grows older she will be able to spend more time with him. Right now we are at the early puppy stages. She will get her first visit to the vet this week. Start them out right I say.

Testing the Waters....

Sometimes Dad shows his stubborn side. Most of the time he is easy to deal with but on occasion he can really act like a 2 year old...AND laugh about it.
One night at dinner he sat down and I had his meds ready. I put them in applesauce so he swallows them easy but he needs to take them right away or they melt and taste nasty.
I put the food on his plate and set the plate near him but the applesauce with pills was right in front of him. I turned to see him starting to eat his food which was at least 10 inches away from him. I told him to eat his applesauce cause it had pills in it and they will melt if he waits. He ignored me and kept eating the food and spilling 3/4 of it while dragging it across the table. I tell him again to eat the applesauce with pills. Rod and I are both looking at each other just wondering how bad his hearing is that he can't hear twice what I just said. Finally I shouted DAD.....and he turns to me, but not looking directly at me. I said it loud again....I put your pills in your applesauce so you can eat them first before they melt. He turns toward me.....looks at me and says, "I heard you the first time." So I said, "Well if you heard me the first time, why can't you acknowledge me so I don't have to spend time repeating myself ?" His answer you may wonder??
"I was too busy eating the food on my plate!"

{Where do I sign up for being driven crazy by your Father class?}



The Freudian Slip

I had to speak to the nurse at the day care center last week about some issues we were having with Dad. While there she told me that Dad does hallucinate there at the center. Sometimes his mind tells him he is in another place, town or that there are people there that aren't really there. The gals there try to tell him the truth but he doesn't believe them.

So in our conversation, the nurse told me that in one incident with Odie....he talked about me and mention me as Isabelle. (that was my Mom's name) The nurse believes that Dad identifies me with my Mom. Oh I agreed with her. He has called me that. I think that is why there is some conflict between Dad and I too. When he wants to make a point he will INSIST that he is right. I give in to some things and just agree with him. Sometimes that bites me in the butt because then he will accuse me of placating him. ha ha ha Can't win for losing ya know. So I usually just play along and argue right back. It's just what he is used to cause he and Mom argued a great deal of the time. Dad just don't give in....but he found his match in me. Oh I can argue till the cows come home.

I will also tell him I am not his wife or Mother....so he needs to do some things on his own. Otherwise he vegges out in a  chair and does nothing.

My Mother would have gotten a kick out of Dad's behavior and the way I handle it....she would have laughed for sure. It would have done her soul good to see that Dad is not getting the last word. I'd like to think that she is watching. He calls me the Boss. ha ha I ask him if I am the boss then why aren't you doing what I tell you to do. He has no answer for that.

Dad Cooking in The Pot, UPDATE

My Dad could do just about anything and being girls, I think my sister and I learned to be competitive from watching Dad....we were always trying to do as good as he...still do I think.

He always had a better way.....which kept us on our toes I must say....but today I fixed his hash, as he used to say.

 He complains and finds something wrong all the time....I just snap back at him most of the time.....but today he had only good things to say which I didn't expect.

I thought he would for sure find some fault. I got him in his swim trunks and took off his shirt....he never asked a question which was odd. I told him I had a surprise for him.

I walked him out to the back patio and showed him the spa....not a word came out...... he climb into the spa with help from Rod and me.

He was a little scared but we got him in.

This was a huge surprise for him...he didn't know it went in yesterday....and what did Dad finally say?

Big grin....and "AHHHHHHH".

I asked if he liked it and he said oh yeah.

One hour later, I went out back and I said....

Do you want to get out?  Dad's reply...."NO" I will stay in a little longer.

We have it at a comfortable temp so he can stay in longer.

I can see him through the window in the kitchen and he is asleep....Rod is out there with him.

FINALLY only took 60 years to find something that Dad didn't find fault with....or some way to improve it.

Well, the day "ain't" over yet! LOL

I'd Give Anything......

Dad was getting ready for bed the other night.
He got into bed and I was adjusting his legs on the pillows and covering him up. As usual he was doing his normal arguing about what was in the room and what wasn't.....I told him that Mom was right, he would argue about the color of the sky.
He looked at me and laughed a little and said, "I would give anything to argue with your Mother right now."
I got a lump in my throat and laughed out of nervousness because I didn't want to cry....and said, "Yep, and Mom would probably give anything to listen to you argue right about now, too."

Mom and Dad fought, that's no secret. They fought over the dumbest things I thought.....the animals, how to deal with kids and Grandkids, when dinner was going to be ready, how much money to spend....etc.

However, I think that even though they could drive each other crazy, they did love each other.
They went through a lot together.....a LOT. I think on occasion how hard is must have been to lose a child to a drowning when he was almost 3. Mom and Dad were both just 23 years old themselves.
I know what they both said that got them through that.....their faith in God and their belief in Jesus Christ. The fact that Gilbert was going to be with the Angels and he would be okay.
Mom talked of him often. I know all the stories. Dad never did talk too much about him. I know for sure why he didn't. I speculated with Mom and told her my theory as to why he didn't get emotional.
The hurt is still so deep that now that Dad is older and more emotional, the mere mention of his name and Dad tears up. I think he had to be strong for Mom. Mom would tell me that she didn't like him not talking to her about Gilbert. She wanted Dad to cry with her when she was feeling bad. Dad was afraid to look like a sissy. It's that generation. It's what was drilled into them very young.....don't cry, be brave, be a man.

When in fact, being a man is being sensitive....a quality many men don't have. I am glad that I raised my boys to BE sensitive. Both of them have compassion. My youngest even today can talk about something that is sad and not afraid to cry in front of me or anyone. I am sure his wife will always appreciate that.
Having a heart is not sissy.

I patted Dad, kissed his forehead and told him all was okay, not to worry....Mom is having a chuckle over him saying he wanted to argue! No doubt she is or will....however you believe.
In the meantime he would have to settle for me to argue with. One day there will be plenty of time to share those stories without sadness or grief.

The Ups and Downs

Dad has been struggling the last couple days with walking and thinking.....two things he says he can't do at the same time.

Yesterday it took Rod and ME to walk him from the car to his bathroom after the day at the Sr Ctr. Now mind you, we practically carried him into the house. We got so far and we both had to lay him on the carpet because we were out of breath. We couldn't use the walker or the wheel chair at the time. They were too far away to grab so we just thought we could do it ourselves no further than it was. haha We all rested a bit, then we stood Dad up and off we went to set him on the pot.

He says, "Boy, that took a lot out of ME!" I started laughing.....and I said, trying to get my breath, " YEAH, I can imagine that it's exhausting being dragged from the car, up the sidewalk, into the house and across the house, to the bathroom, for YOU!" haha

I kept laughing, walked away....and I could hear him say to Rod, with a little laugh, "She's always making fun of me." hahahaha

The Bathroom Faucet...

Dad got his new faucet in his bathroom put on yesterday. He's been griping about that two handled faucet for months. He wanted two handles to begin with. Then all of a sudden he didn't like it. So I told him I expect him to jump up and down over it when he got the new one. He didn't even notice it had been changed! hahaha Rod helped him take his teeth out last night and he didn't say a word to Rod. So this morning I made him notice it.

What did he say???? IT DON'T WORK....no, not when you touch it and expect it to turn on....he went through that 5 times before I made him THINK on how to turn it on....then I said....how's that?

He said it will work okay. hahahaha

I said you better like it cause it's the LAST one!

Bubblin' In A Pot!

Dad's worked hard all his life....from the time he could fix anything as a teenager to the day he just couldn't work anymore...at 88 years old. That's a long time to devote your life to working. Some of the time he did it for himself but most of the time he did it to make sure that his family had what they needed. He wasn't much on luxury but he made sure you had all the things you needed to survive and he expected you to earn the luxury part of what you wanted.
When it came to vacations and pleasures, Dad had few. His antique cars are the pleasures he had when he needed a break from work. That worked just fine for him until he couldn't drive them anymore....at 88 years old.
The last time he drove his Durant was with my daughter, Michelle and her kids in a parade in Logansport, Indiana. I told Michelle that she needed to go with him because we weren't sure he was capable of driving the car and being able to control it.
We could see that he was slowing down and not sure of himself behind the wheel.
Michelle said that he did just fine. That was good because that was the end of the driving.
Since Dad has moved to Oklahoma there have been few days for us to get the cars out of storage for Dad to take a ride. Rod works so much overtime...and the summer was so hot last year. We have been so busy running back and forth to Indiana this year that up until now there has been NO time to get them out of storage. Rod has gone to start them a few times just to make sure they are starting up. The summer this year is again brutal.
It's going to be 108 today with temps around 109 all this week.
Eventually this will pass I know and before the Fall gets away from us we have plans to get Dad out and about in the Durant.
He is anxiously awaiting that and it's hard on him to wait because that's all he can do. I tell him we won't forget but there's no point to getting it out in temperatures as hot as 100 and above. He agrees with that. I just hope that he stays as alert as he has been for months to be able to enjoy the rides.

So I have given a lot of thought to what Dad would enjoy doing in these last years.
Who knows how long he has? Who knows how long any of us have? I was concerned when I was diagnosed with cancer last year that I wasn't going to be able to be here to take care of him. My first thought was what was going to happen to Dad....so since that day I have thought for a long time what would he enjoy doing.

So I finally decided that since he loves to be warm...and his body aches all the time....the one thing that I am sure that he would enjoy would be a hot tub.
So I am working towards getting one for him. Might be another month or so.....but he doesn't know it yet.
His Doctor agrees that with his aches and pains complaints that THIS might be the thing that he will enjoy with us. Dad used to enjoy swimming as a kid....when we would go swimming with friends when I was little he loved the water then too. He always got in our pool when he and Mom would come visit. Mom even enjoyed that and our trips to the Y to get in the hot tub.
I am concerned on how to get it fixed that he can easily get into it but I think we can figure that out.
I want to put it conveniently outside his room's door so he doesn't have far to walk....he will be accessible to him even if he eventually goes to the wheelchair.
Just too bad I can't get him a gal friend to enjoy it with....LOL I have tried...but he says he is a one woman man still and he still favors his gal friend in Indiana. Too bad she can't join him in his hot tub. At least he will have the Great Grandkids to share it with.

Shhhhh, don't tell him. I want him to be surprised. Those will be great photos to share of him relaxing in the bubbly heat of the water. Keep watching the blog!

Heh, what was that you said??

Dad was up and finished breakfast and ready to head out to the Senior Center. I had him call my sister....then I saw that he was still awake so I asked him if he wanted to call Louise, his gal friend in Indiana.

I dialed the number, said hello and told Louise Dad was wanting to talk to her....she is having a hard time hearing. I hand the phone to Dad and his hand was shaking with the Parkinson's. He starts his conversation with Louise....

Odus: I am having a hard time holding the phone, my hand keeps shaking and I can't get a good hold of it. If I was there with you I sure could get a hold of you though!

Dad waits to get a response....he pulls the phone away from his head and tells me....Oh she didn't hear me....she can't hear anything anymore with those hearing aids.

LOL...what's an old man to do when he can't even flirt on the phone anymore?

Time for Bed...

Rod and I just got Dad ready for bed. He had been in the living room sleeping of course. So he gets the usual done, pot, teeth out, face washed, then sets on the bed.
I stood there waiting for him to lay down be he just sets there. So I walked away and went to my bedroom to finish up some laundry and I come back to him and he is STILL sitting up.
Wendy: Don't let it bother you that I am standing here on my tired legs waiting for you to get in bed so I can cover you up.
Dad: Dad don't it bother you that I am sitting here freezing to death waiting for you to COME and cover me up!

And so it goes.

Lost in the translation...

Another informative conversation between Wendy and Odie.

According to Dad we have 8 mice in house, mostly in his bedroom...at night...in the dark.
So his solution is for me to come in at night, wait for the mice to appear and catch them at night...in the dark.
Yeah.
Apparently last night he caught a little one, and squashed him. So I asked him where was the mouse now. He didn't know.
That might be cause he was invisible.
So you squashed him and didn't get goo on your hand? nope.
Again, that might be because he was invisible.
So I said I would call the invisible exterminator.

He gave me a dirty look.

AHA! I am back to posting...on FATHER'S DAY 2012

Long break between posts. I am busy, no doubt, but some days I just can't think of what to say.

Just to catch up a little bit....Dad had pneumonia a month ago and spent 5 days in the hospital. We got it tended to very quickly. He started coughing on a Saturday night....started spitting up phlegm on Sunday afternoon at 2pm and was admitted by 6pm that very day. Had we let it go, not knowing what it was, it would have been a lot worse. The home health nurse had JUST been here and listened to his lungs on Wednesday night prior. So it was a fast moving pneumonia. I know with the history of lung problems in our family you don't try to fix it ourselves. Can't be done. I have a history of bronchitis, so did Mom, my sister too and most of Dad's family.
So with some extra care at home after the hospital stay, Dad is better than normal now. In fact, today, he got up on his own, did the bathroom routine with a little help and was motivated to do some things without prompting. That's a first in a very long time.

As some of you know, we just came back from Indiana a week ago. The trip was good for Dad in some ways.....and in other ways, it tired him out. By the end of the week, he had full dementia and was driving us all bonkers. He kept me up two nights at my sister in law's before we headed back to Oklahoma on Sunday. OMG, what a ride home. He had to sit in the back with me because he was grabbing at the steering wheel with Rod driving....he would not stop it so we pulled over and moved him to where I could take care of it. Then he tried to open the door but we had the kids lock on so he couldn't do much. He would NOT go to sleep. So when he got home, he crashed for 2 days.....he needed sleep.....it's a pattern that we often go through. So I let him sleep and would wake him only to use the bathroom and drink fluids. Monday he was so out of it that he didn't even go to Sr Ctr. By Tuesday he was made to go....haha I needed SLEEP! He finally got into the swing of things and by Thursday he was better than usual. He remembers NOTHING of the things that went on during the dementia. He remembers little of from the time we got to Logansport, until we left there. He remembers bits and pieces. He sleeps so much in between that they things he does before he naps fades away. He told me when we got home it was hard to stay awake. He had to force himself to do so.
However, the goal was for him to visit his friends and family who came to see him for one last time....{unless they visit him here} This was our last trip to Logansport. There will be one last trip for Dad and he said that will be when he is laid next to Mom.

He no longer can take those long trips, it was obvious on this last trip. His house is sold.....and he can't function like he used to for enjoying any more trips. I have wanted to take him on a cruise to Alaska for the last several years but he won't go. He says all he will do is sleep anyway. LOL Probably so. I can see it now.....DAD DAD, there's the first sighting of the whales......DAD DAD......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
He says he can watch all that on TV. haha He sleeps through that even!!!!
So I will find stuff locally to keep him entertained. IF ONLY I had some hot little 90 year old to keep his eyes open!  His now girlfriend told him a long time ago to find someone down here to talk to and keep company with.....but he won't do it.....he says he is a one woman man!

So yet another day goes by....Dad is resting after church on this Father's Day. He had one of his favorite meals at Egg It On restaurant.
He has talked to his other daughter and his gal friend already today....so he is down for the afternoon for a nice long nap!

"CEREAL KILLER"

There have been times when shopping with Dad I have laughed....but not like this time.
I separated from Rod and Dad one day at Walmart. I thought that it might not be a good idea but I thought about just how much trouble they could get into and then went ahead and left them anyway. I told Dad to get whatever he wanted and needed.
So I catch up to them in the laundry aisle. I looked down into Dad's cart and counted the boxes of cereal and lost it. {Dad loves cold cereal} The choice of cereal made it even funnier....Cookie Crisp, Lucky Charms, Sugar Frosted Flakes, Golden Grahams, and Mini Wheats...the only healthy one in the bunch....also note the two bags of candy in the corner right of the photo. Oh and pickles...hahaha What a combo! Note that if you have been in any Walmart store...the candy is no where near the food section...so he had Rod make a mad dash to the other side of the store for that candy!

I laughed and laughed until my cheeks hurt. I couldn't even get out the words that described why I was laughing. Dad kept asking me what was so funny. 

Every time I started to talk I burst into laughter again. People around us were laughing and they didn't even know why.
Finally after a few isles I told Dad, to end his curiosity, as to why I was laughing.....it was the number of boxes of cereal that he had. Did we really need that much cereal? The choices of cereal were the choices of a 3 year old.....the candy in the corner was priceless when he had bags of uneaten candy at home.
To make it all even funnier in my mind....He always tells me he is not longed for this world BUT at the rate he thinks he is leaving, is he going to have the TIME to finish all these boxes of cereal. I had 2 boxes of cereal also in my cart!! It was a riot I tell you.
On top of that he had TWO bags of chips. One was sour cream and chive....and the other plain potato chips. Sour Cream and chive? That's odd....he always complained about that flavor when Mom bought it. He wanted Barbecue flavor. Odd what you miss when a loved one is gone. 

Will I miss cereal boxes when Dad is gone? Probably.....but I will always have this story and this photo of the day Dad became a cereal killer!

The Peanut Butter didn't have a chance.

Dad can barely shave...most days he misses half of it...he can't shower alone...He can't even dress himself and get all the clothes on correctly. Forget about writing a letter or spreading his own sandwich with mayo....HOWEVER, any given day Dad sure can dig out the peanut butter from the bottom of the jar!! I saw him working so hard on this for 30 minutes and I just had to go get the camera....I couldn't stop jiggling the camera from laughing. It's hard to be quiet and not laugh at this.

Catching up...

Ooops, too long in between posts. I told my Sister part of a couple stories I needed to get in here to post. She says she checks often if I have written anything so I suppose I best get with it and get something going. It's not that I don't have anything to say. haha Oh that would probably never happen unless my tongue was missing.

First of all, I have been preoccupied with some changes going on within the family and by the time I get around to posting, I am too pooped to pop. Or in this case, to write and think.
I am getting much done around the house though. I am still putting up Dad's shelving and cabinets....I have one cabinet of Dad's to sand down and stain before it goes up on the wall. I have let it set long enough. When Dad built this cabinet he made it to not show on the left side...but where it's going in his room, it will show so I have to finish the left side to match the right side. It's been on my to-do list.

Most of the time he deals okay with dementia but it's at night it is the worse.
That's when I need to sleep but he has many things happening at the very time my brain says to sleep. On the weekends when Rod doesn't work he gets up with Dad so I can sleep. The rest of the time is my turn. Last night was not especially pleasant. Dad argues with me as I have pointed out before...he won't take my word or anyone else's that what he sees is not really happening. During the day one can reason with him but in the middle of the night when he is half asleep....well, let's just say, if you are in the conversation with Dad, you might as well give it up and uh huh everything. haha. There is no winning the argument at 4 am.

He got on the phone the other day to talk to my Sister. You would think he is the doom and gloom bearer of news. "I can't go outside by myself", I heard him say. OUTSIDE by himSELF?? Where did that come from? If I told him to go outside you would think he was being tortured. haha. He has no desire to go outside...in fact, when I open his door to the outside in his room....first thing out of his mouth, "Where's that draft coming from?" He comes up with some good ones when he is on the phone. He tells his galfriend that he doesn't get to go anywhere and he stays here and sleeps all day!!! The truth is, he gripes that he has to go to so many places. I should make a little video of his daily routine and most people half his age would complain that they are doing too much. He stays as busy as one can stay at almost 92.

He has to stay busy and yes, I make him walk....he wants to park his butt in the wheel chair and I won't let him. I tell him over and over, the day you sit in that wheel chair is the day you give up walking. There are times when he is having a very hard time walking and I have him use the wheel chair but it is only temporarily. We start physical therapy again when that happens. Oh he hates that too! ha

So as far as his health and condition right now....he really is in good shape. He does have that back trouble that causes him not too walk fast. He walks all stooped over and can't stand straight up....but he takes pain medication for it. Enough to keep the major pain down but not too much to cause him to be konked out. There's a fine line in getting the right medication for someone Dad's age.
His Dr and I work to make sure he is never overmedicated. Dad has to be able to help me as much as he can physically do in order for me to take care of him.
His mind is clear most of the time. One thing Dad is very clear about is when it's time to eat! It's a big joke around here about Dad. IF we want him to wake up all we have to do is get some dessert and go in the living room with it and MAGICALLY Dad wakes up, WIDE awake wanting to know where HIS piece is!

So this is an update and stay tuned for some dementia stories....funny stuff to follow this post...