Not a lot to add to the Blog anymore. I have copied every page and I have all the photos. I am going to look into making it all into a book. Sometimes I come here and read the stories and I laugh all over again. Dad was darn funny. I am glad that I did write it down to refer back to when I need a laugh. His birthday was on April 22 and of course I feel so sad on that day. If he were alive and could read my stories I know he would be laughing and asking me if he really said all that. I miss you, Dad.

If I were to write all the things I learned from my Dad, I would be writing for a very long time. The same goes about Mom. Before I leave this world or lose my memory, I must start a Blog for Mom. I do have many notations and stories already written. It is a daunting task to get these things together. I have so many projects going at any given moment. There is no such thing as retiring. In the 1990s, I thought that I needed to write my parents letters. I wrote Dad's first. I have wondered if Mom was a little hurt that I wrote his first but at the time there was a reason for that. The reason escapes me right now. Maybe a birthday or Father's Day. So I would take my writing materials and head to the pizza parlor near us. The kids were still at home and there was no way I could concentrate with them asking me questions. If you are a Mother, you know what I mean. Strangers at a pizza parlor didn't bother me. I would just get something to drink and sit there for a couple hours. The words just poured out of my mind on paper. No typing....no computer...just hand writing. You do all remember what that is, right? I had no trouble writing 10-15 pages at a time to my friends or family. I still have every letter written to me but I doubt anyone I wrote to still has theirs. It's okay. As long as I have mine, I am okay with that. I do have those letters I wrote to Mom and Dad and I will be posting them here very soon. May take me a while to scan them. To Be Continued...

Old Stories to Share...

Dad was very close to his Sister, Cleora. I really think she looked up to Dad. I loved her too. She was a woman who sacrificed a lot in her life. We didn't know many of her sacrifices until she was much older. I kept in touch with her in her later years and so wished I had all along. She was always kind to me. She entertained me as a child when I would go visit with her. She didn't have much in life but I never heard her complain. She made beautiful quilts. I have a small one of hers.
She was also the family historian and I am so very grateful. I certainly could count on her information as being accurate.
When she was still living at home in Thornhope, Indiana and Dad started to decline I would take him to go visit her. One time when we were out there visiting, Dad was having a bad time with dementia. I tried to time those visits when Dad was alert and himself. I couldn't avoid this....and as she sat next to Dad and he had that glassy eyed look and didn't really know where he was, she bowed her head and cried. She looked at him so sweetly. I asked her to tell me what she was thinking.
She choked back the tears and said that she thought she would never see Odus like this. I was sobbing a bit myself because I felt for HER. I told her that he wasn't always like this. He is very funny sometimes and can still tell a story. He was just starting to eat better and was gaining weight because she was concerned about that. I told her that I would take very good care of him....and the next time he visited he would be in much better condition. She felt better and told me she knew that I would take care of him.
We did come back in a few months and oh boy, was he better! She was shocked at how alert he was and how much weight he had gained to get him back in better health. So at that time, she brought out two pairs of very old eyeglasses. They were their Mom's, Phoebe Elizabeth. Dad said he never had seen them....one was longette and the other was without a handle that you just sat on your nose. I wanted so much to ask her if I could have them one day but I am not pushy like that. I did want them though. She has a daughter, my cousin....and I figured they would go to her. {See photos below of glasses}
Sometime later...Dad passed away....then Aunt Cleora passed away. My cousin emailed me and asked me if I wanted all the photos that her Mom had kept....OH WOW... I would have driven to Indiana from Oklahoma for them. haha My Sister went to get them for me....then Nola mailed them to me...and I scanned and edited for days....Sweet Aunt Cleora had labeled and dated EACH photo, mostly on the back. Of those that she had written on the front...I did edit all that out. I was in Heaven. In that group of photos was a non relative who I knew who would love to have it. I sent it to him first via email and then eventually he got the original. I would have loved to have seen his face the day he opened that email. His family took care of my Aunt, my Dad's little Sister when his Mother passed away at the age of 29. The one I sent it too never had seen this photo and wanted to see his Grandmother. I was so happy to share it with him. {Robert}
So a short while later my Sister tells me that my cousin gave her a few things....a book, and those precious glasses that Aunt Cleora had showed Dad and I that day we went to visit. I could feel my heart beat harder. As I read the email she said if it was okay with me she would keep the book and the glasses that just sat on the nose and I could have the longette pair. Oh brother....I was ecstatic. I said OH YES! She sent me photos and I had no problem with her choices. She also had a handkerchief that her husband had given to her when they were dating. What treasures. I have framed them with placards.

Dad didn't get to know that I got those beautiful blue enameled glasses. That's when I cry....just knowing that my parents didn't get to see some things that happen now. I know in the big picture it doesn't matter now for I know what's coming when I see them again....but I sure would have loved to have shared them with him.
So in all those photos were ones that I NEVER saw. I am the photo freak....I have looked at all the photos that Mom and Dad had over and over and over. I have edited every single one. Dad took lots of photos over my lifetime. He was a camera nut in the early 50's when it became so affordable for everyone.
I scanned every slide he ever took....about 900 and edited and named each one. One thing I have not done is to scan many of the transparencies yet. I have audio recordings as well....I have the movies on discs....Nola did some too. I need some from VHS done too.
I am grateful for the technology of digital! ha
 I might add a foot note to this.....it's about story-telling.

To me, it is very important that the stories get told accurately. It's important to future generations and to history in general. Telling a story wrong changes everything. I like to tell stories first hand. If I didn't experience it I do some research to make sure I am as accurate as can be. My  references are are on a short list. I have an older Sister who remembers more than me so when I am not sure about who what where and when I ask her. I have a Cousin who is the same age as my Sister and she can be very helpful sometimes. Other than those two, all others are gone. I truly wish I had been AS curious as I am now to ask more questions. Like I have said before both of my parents thought I asked plenty. Mom said I would make a good lawyer. I should have gone that way. haha 

I recently saw a family member posting stories that are NOT true. 

They have few facts correct. They ramble and write things that change history. It's rather annoying but this person doesn't listen to anyone. She has to be right....she assumes situations, fills in blanks with her own stories. It's really nothing new....it's been going on for a very long time.

No one seems to correct her as I believe they are afraid to as she will wipe you right out of her life if you don't agree with her. I have seen it happen. Even to her own Mother.
It's quite annoying because she seems to act as though she is better than everyone else and has put herself on some sort of pedestal. She is very judgemental and thinks she should only consort with Christians like her.
When my friends who are not believers describe the sort of Christians they do not like....I think of her.
That is sad because she is stopping people from believing in God. If someone were to tell her that I am sure she would say they were evil. I am not happy about it all....but I do wish her well....she needs it.

I will have to leave those who do not feel as I do about keeping the facts contemplate the harm that they do not telling the stories as they really are or were to their own devices.
Maybe they need to examine all the truths in their lives and not just the stories they inaccurately tell. 

What Do You Do for a Living?

If I repeat myself telling stories.....that's okay, get used to it! Life is short and I don't have time to be an editor too.

Here's a funny one from about 8 years ago.

I was complaining this afternoon about the chick that cut my Levolor blinds....she did it wrong.
I said to Rod and Dad, this chick don't know her butt from a hole in the ground. {One of Dad's favorite sayings.}
Rod and I went back and forth on how to find out BEFORE I let them cut anything IF they knew their butt from a hole in a ground....okay?
So I go about my business, getting Dad something to drink and dealing with what dreams and visions he was having which is a story all on it's own....and then I see that Rod had changed the lightbulb over the shower like I asked him to do last night.
I picked up the package that he put the old bulb in asking, "What was the wattage on this bulb ? {without looking at it myself}." He pipes up and says, "130."
I replied back there IS NO 130.... and then I started laughing....and I asked him WHAT DO YOU DO FOR  A LIVING....and he ignores me....{he is an electrician}.
I had JUST made fun of this chick who couldn't cut correctly and NOW Rod is not doing much better in answering me......

So I again asked him what he did for a living and his very comical reply was,

"I check buttholes and holes in the ground."  LOL Of course I about wet my pants laughing at that one. Dad was laughing too.

That explains a LOT!

The WATTAGE by the way was 60, the VOLTS were 130! hahaha

Wendy Rose

Storytelling...

I am going to try to fill in some of these missing photos. When webshots and other places closed I lost some photos. I have them....just on flash drives and with the thousands of photos I have they might be hard to find to replace. I have every photo ever taken with digital cameras named. It's the only way to find them. I see that most people have kept the numbers they were given and if I did that....lol, I would NEVER find a particular photo. So at least with that I might find them faster than I think. I say this so I am motivated to do so.
I want to get this blog printed in book form. I have all files saved but not in the way that I would like to see it.
I mean to get that done this year. Time is going fast for me to get some of these things done. I don't know why I am doing it though because few people have an interest in such things. I think preserving records is important but I think I am one of very few that I have talked to who think the same.
Sad but true. It's like writing hand written letters. I am one of few that still do that. I write mostly to older people who appreciate it and don't throw them away. ha So many of my friends and relatives who are older than 70 have passed away. I look at my address book when it's time to send a letter to someone and it's slim pickins. I have lost my favorite Aunt, my long time best ever friend, JoEtta Penny, Dolly, who was my teenage years best friend, my friend in Indiana, Debbie, who has left me for reasons unknown....and others who just lived long lives and are gone. I think I enjoyed writing to my Grandma Watkins a great deal. I think of her often. She was my Dad's step Mother when he was about 9 years old on. She was a good woman who showed love to all of the kids....hers and everyone else's the same. That can be hard to do but she managed it. I knew that when I wrote her I would get an answer back right away. I wrote to her from the time I was 12 until she passed away. I miss her even though I lived in Indiana and she was in Colorado. I have everyone of her hand written letters.
Writing is important to me. It's always been important and it's something that has gone by the wayside in the last few years. I need to spend at least an hour a day writing in here or just writing thoughts down in general. I have kept a couple diaries here and there. I wish I had kept my diary from the time I was 15 to 17. Mom kept reading my diary....lol How that was lost, I do not know. I guess I didn't want anyone to read it so I tossed it out. I thought when Mom died I would find it in her stuff and that maybe she saw it in the trash and then took it out. She was famous for going through the trash to make sure nothing important was tossed out accidentally.
Alas...it is gone.
Quite by accident I was watching OETA Public TV last night and they had a program called Storyteller. I looked it up to see if Tulsa had such a thing to go to and sure enough they do. It's downtown Tulsa which is no surprise being the artsy part of the area. I think I want to go to this and watch them. Anyone can get up to tell a story....I could do that. I have so many stories....sheesh, I wouldn't know where to start. I think the first thing I might do is a set of 3 short stories. I would tell the ones told to me as a kid. Then there is the Yosemite story....they would think I made that up. ha Dad was a story teller...he told good stories...most of them were from true experiences.
My problem telling stories or reading stories is becoming emotional as I tell them and start to tear up and can't speak. Maybe that's good if you continue but I would have to practice on that.
First I have to see if I am any competition for this venue. They have a continuation of story telling....you go on for more competition if you are good enough and enter a national story telling contest. I will be content to tell one story on stage!

Prioritizing

I can't believe it's been 2 years since I posted last. I think what needs to be done is that I need to fix this blog in appearance and add the photos that were once here. I am aware that one day this website will be gone like so many others that have changed or disappeared. So many photo places that have dissolved into space. I am also determined to make it a priority to have this blog made into a book.
Yes, a book. I am thinking just for the family to have if they want it but mostly for future generations to know. I really should have started a blog for my Mother the first time I ever got on a computer. She is most interesting. I found it easy to blog my Dad because every day was an adventure with him living with us. I have left so much out about his life. You know him as an old man but he was a young man too. I am lucky enough to have that information on paper as well as in my head. I sometimes don't trust my memory and that is the primary reason I should write it all down. If not for others, for me.
These are things I should do. Maybe a priority list needs to be made and followed through with, Time is short and I figure I have 20 more good years to get it done. Yes, I am counting down the years and know my days are numbered and I should use them wisely.

In the Beginning...

From the stories that my Mom told me, she didn't care much for Dad when he was a boy and they both went to the same school. He was "full of himself." They even sat next to each other in class. Imagine that? Mom was shy and an introvert. Dad was totally the opposite....opinionated, bold and an extrovert and a showoff. You can see his personality in the photos of Dad when he was a boy. Mom liked to get good grades and follow the rules. Dad  did good in school but he was maybe a rule bender thinking he wouldn't be caught. He was ornery, Mom said. Those were her words.

Another Found Story in my Files

December 12, 2009

It’s harder than I thought it was going to be to keep this up.  Some days I am so busy with Dad and little time to sit down at the computer and put my thoughts together. I tell myself these are the days of my life that it’s so important for me to continue…a therapy of sorts.

Since Dad has been off all those new meds he was on when I got here he has IMPROVED so much. There is dementia still but not as bad as it was. He is not as angry. I do notice that he wants to know where I am all the time. I guess I am Dad’s security blanket and that’s fine.

Music helps Dad a lot when he is going to sleep. When he is restless I turn the CD on of the Gaithers and he almost immediately calms down and stops growling in his presleep.

December 19, 2009

Dad has now started to drool….I have him dry swallow throughout the day but he continues to do so today. Actually, he started to do that last night when Michelle was here and was progressively worse until bedtime. He is sometimes non responsive. He continues to see this lady who his associated with a religious man who is trying to get him to join some religious sect. He doesn’t know these people but he is fearful of them

All during the week he thinks he is away from his home on Sherman Street. He talks about how the rooms are configured differently than the house he built. He wants me to hire an exterminator to kill the rats and bugs in the house and became somewhat angry last night when I wouldn’t call someone right now. He said I don’t do what he asks me to do and I do what he doesn’t want me to do……example…getting a security system for the house. This comes and goes.

December 21, 2009

Dad had a good day today but for a couple incidences of hallucinations. He saw a little “dragon” like creature in his sweatpants as he was on the pot. He felt down the legs to see if he could feel and bring it up for me to see. Of course, no such creature to show me. I told him if he could produce it, we could make millions.

I was having cold like symptoms and I decided to lay down about 7pm. I set the alarm for 8:30pm so I wouldn’t sleep past Dad’s bedtime. Out of the blue I hear Dad call my name….WILDA, come quick……there is a car coming through the wall and it’s halfway through. I was awake now but saying that I was not getting up to see a car coming through the wall. He says fine, but you are going to miss it. I did get up as I saw that he was half off the recliner and sitting way down with his legs dangling. I got up to sit him up straight. All the while he is going on about the little people playing the organ, of which there is none in Dad’s house. I told him that there wasn’t an organ and I was not going to play into his story and he said Okay fine, thanks for your help. LOL Go on back to bed then.

He was mumbling to himself there was water all over the floor but he mumbled to himself.

While still in Indiana on December 21^st…He was very awake today and talking on the phone to Louise and talked to Nola for a while….all along very alert and animated.

Rod, Dad and I were in the living room and Dad was hallucinating but making some sense……he said there was a lady there in the room….he said he didn’t know her name…and I said, why don’t you ask her what her name is and his reply was, “I guess I am bashful” Oh and my wife get after me.”

OH MY GOD we just laughed and laughed and Dad even laughed at that answer and grinned ear to ear. Oh it was so funny and how I recalled how Mom WOULD have got after him…..she was have said she was Mrs. Invisible and commented how he was busy talking to THE women and she was over there by herself…..and I repeated all that to Dad and he just grinned, seemingly to remember how Mom WOULD have reacted to him talking to “that” woman.

Every day Dad entertains us in some sort of fashion like that.

Earlier in the day we all had eaten at the table….Dad ate well and after dinner I asked him if he wanted any coffee. Oh yes he said, coffee sounded good…. I had some coffee singles of vanilla flavor so I made a cup in the machine for making one/two cups at a time. So I carefully cooled the coffee down for him with some French Vanilla creamer….and stirred it. I got ready to give it to him and told him to take a sip from the straw that we use to ease his swallowing and he asked what it was and I said coffee and he squealed, Ohhhhh I don’t want that and wrinkled up his face at me…..Rod and I both started to laugh because it didn’t surprise us that he had completely forgotten that he even wanted it. I gave it to RodSo we went to the living room and sat for a while, Dad telling stories and then out of the blue he asked where HIS coffee was with his eyes big looking at Rod. OMG, we laughed and laughed.

Dad always had a way of talking that would get your attention. As an 89 year old man with dementia, the intensity of his gestures adds to the dynamic of his words. He carefully chooses his words when he is talking to us. Many times they are precise and using intellectual descriptions.

Dad was sitting on the sofa this evening and he had a busy time moving up and down on the seat saying that he needed to get up to either go check on something or to get over to another part of the room. We would keep a close eye on him to make sure that he didn’t fall. He started to talk about a bus being here with some people and he wanted to go to the front door to see them. I took him over to the front door and he looked out the window saying what a mess it was out there…..soon the concern about the bus diminished and he was no longer interested in seeing it. So he came back to the sofa where Rod helped him to sit down.

Later that same evening Rod was sitting next to him and he was talking about moving things around near the sofa…he had a box of balls….and he says The hell I ain’t….this coming from a man who did NOT cuss, and then said “You people shuffled me around….and blew my mind.” Hahaha How can you not just burst out laughing? He is totally unmoved at the humor of it all sometimes….just as serious as he can be while he still continues to maneuver whatever he thinks is out of order on the couch and in front of him….mostly invisible items.

He has “worked” for a couple hours at “fixing” the area he is sitting in to readjust his surroundings.

Here's a Little Ditty....

One day in November 2009….

Dad was seeing things that weren’t there and it went like this.

Wendy: There’s nothing there Dad…..

Dad: Well, it showed up on my screen.

Found another story...

I am cleaning out some files and found this little story that I wrote a while back. I am not sure if I posted it here before but thought I would blog it anyway. I am getting ready to copy all these stories and eventually make a book for the family. I fear one day this website will disappear like so many other photo places that popped up over the Internet. I must copy soon.
I always am so grateful for the persistence I had to keep these stories.

Dad’s Diary…2009

November 14, 2009.

Dad was awake till 3am and finally dozed off. He was talking to himself the entire time. Then he finally fell asleep at about 4am and then he was up every hour on the hour. Then he went back to sleep about 6 and slept till about 10. I gave him his meds early so he could eat a good breakfast. I went to wake him as he was talking to himself for a long time before he would get out of bed. He was facing the south wall saying he wanted to lay on that shoulder. He finally did get up and we went to the bathroom and did the usual routine of washing face, getting dentures in and glasses on. Then we went to the table and he ate very good….eggs and eggnog French toast. He has gingerbread tea with French vanilla flavor packet.

He then went to the bathroom to poop and then to the living room to take a nap. He was hallucinating today seeing little people and this one particular little man. This went out throughout the day. I offered him something to drink every hour but by 3pm he was refusing. He told me a couple times he wanted to go home, a frequent demand. At 5pm, I took him outside as the weather was just great and we were watching the sunset starting. He saw little men in Army tanks and marching along in unison. He was constantly seeing something either in the tree or on the cement. We came in after about 30 minutes as he said he was getting cold.

He didn’t want dinner and refused to take his vitamins and said I couldn’t make him eat that stuff. I took it back out to the kitchen not saying anything. I came back in the living room and sat in the chair next to him and he was soon talking to himself. I soon found out that he was saying things like you can’t make me eat human flesh. I will NOT….he would start preaching of which I video taped. Then he would start singing which is on video tape.

For a couple hours he talked to himself with his eyes open not even looking at me directly or what was around him in the house.

{During that time for some reason that popped into my head, I asked him if he had been baptized and he told me yes…..it was at Crooked Creek in Cass County by Royal Center. 

Not A Day Goes By...

Yes, not a day goes by that I don't at some point during the day think about Mom and Dad. After all items from their lives are scattered throughout my home.
Through my mind wanders the memories of the past. An incident in the present will remind me of a distant story. I can see my Mom and Dad as they were at that time.
Recently I was looking through some audio tapes and trying to locate the ones of Mom and Dad singing. I was also trying to find the one of me at 4 years old talking to my Dad. I wanted to play it for Kilah. She was running wild around the house so there was no interesting her in it. I did play it for me and for Kiara and Rod who was in the room. I wish he had made more of those tapes. Then again, how grateful I am that I have the few that I have. I do have others talking on tapes that they have never even heard. I say tape, because we didn't have talking movies then....well, not for home use...and we just had cassette recorders. {I had to explain the progression of technology to my Granddaughter.} She didn't get it. It was the confused look on her face that told me how she didn't get it. She didn't know what each one of these devices looked like. So I could understand her confusion.
How does that go again.....just in MY lifetime....wire recorder to reel to reel, then we had the 8-track, which you really couldn't record on but you could transfer your reel to reel IF you had a hugely costly machine to do that. haha Mom and Dad just happen to have one so I could record on cassette FROM the reel to reel. Then came the micro recorder and now we have digital recorders. I lost Kiara way before that. I am surprised that I made a point to remember all that anyway!
Instead of telling my Grandkids how far I had to walk in the snow to my school....I at least had the technology story to relay.

Listening to Mom play the accordion and Dad playing his guitar with both of them singing gave me a lump in my throat. My Daughter had to leave the room because she burst into tears. The Grandkids have no real memory of them both singing and playing instruments but I felt they needed to hear them at least. I have fond memories of which I have told in this blog. I may not listen to the tapes often, but it's just knowing they are there are a comfort. I can, at anytime, listen to them speak so I never forget what their voices sounded like.

Like Dad said, "What I would give to hear my Mother's voice again!"
I can say all I have to do is turn on the machine and hear my parents' voices again. I can also get out the videos and watch them talk. I have been lucky. I am fortunate!

The Little Guy....

Let me preface this story with the fact that I was going through some files and found this story I had written. It's rather out of order of what I was intending to do but since I found it, I will post it right now and not concern myself with trying to find it again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dad and the Little Man…..
There’s a bit o’ Irish man in my Pop, mostly German though…..he is 89. The oldest of eight children and was 9 years old in the year of the Crash of 1929….the very same year he lost his Mother after she had given birth to a sibling. Married a gal that he had gone to grade school with who later said that she didn't like him in school. Too bossy....know it all.

Father of three….a son born in ’40, a daughter born in ’42 and the last, an Irish redhead Lass born in 1952. The oldest didn't live to see his Dad grow old, as he drowned when he was almost 3. What sadness must have overpowered the young parents. I have often wondered how they both made it through each day. How DO you raise your head off the pillow in the morning to start each day? Mom always said had she not had a daughter to raise {that would have been my sister, Nola} she wouldn't have wanted to live. Dad said that it was his responsibility to put food in the mouths of his family so he did what he had to do.

He worked hard all his life……even when he retired he continued to run his fix it shop, never saying no to anyway who came to get something repaired. From wood to metal, he could figure out a way to make it work, run, or he would build a new one. His first reaction to a project was always, I don’t think it can be done and then he would turn around and get it done. Whatever was do be done, “Odie” could do it.

So here he is, in the Winter of his life….surrounded by many who love him. As the youngest daughter I had promised both of my parents that I would NOT ever put them in a nursing home. I often said I wouldn't be able to put my head on a pillow at night wondering if Dad was sad and lonely and that I couldn't bare to ever walk away from him or Mom and let someone else take care of them. I told them both that no matter what I had been born with or what may have happened to me growing up, there is no way they would have put ME in an institution.

We lost Mom in 2003….the sadness for me was sometimes unbearable. I wouldn’t just cry, I would weep and sob for my Mom. I would find myself thinking of something to tell her and would think of calling and then realize I couldn’t. That didn’t stop me from mentally telling her anyways. I would go through some of her things she got me and would remember the story she would tell me that was associated with a particular item.

Dad lived independently for 6 years after Mom died. Then the situation changed. He needed help with the checking…..paying bills and although it was hard to give in to the fact that he DID need help, he agreed to accept some assistance. In a short time of less than a year, Dad had round the clock care…..first it was my Daughter, Michelle, who is an RN. She temporarily moved in with her two children and cared for Dad for a couple months. My sister, my great niece and my best girlfriend would help my daughter care for Dad. Michelle would keep a close eye on Dad and knew exactly what he needed and didn't hesitate to get Dad the very best when it was necessary and was on top of the medical decisions made for him.
It may seem to others that it’s a sad time for us…..Dad is nearing the end of his life…..and yes, it does cross my mind that I will be saying goodbye to him in my lifetime. Before he goes though, he will continue to leave us stories for he is quite entertaining in the state of mind he is in.
Dad doesn't have Alzheimer’s….it’s dementia brought on from symptoms like Parkinson’s. He is sometimes “having a good day”, as he says. He rests well, he knows all of us and he doesn't see anyone we don’t see.

Then there ARE the days that are all BUT normal and it’s like reading the most interesting book you have ever had in your life. It may all start so innocently….a simple question is asked and OMG, he is on a roll.

To the Irish Point of the title.....I may have told this story previously but it is worthy of telling once again.
~~My Daughter, Michelle, Dad and I were sitting in Bob Evans restaurant in Logansport, Indiana one day. Dad was doing fine, no dementia so far that day. Dad like Bob Evans so I tried to take him to all the places he liked to go and we stayed far away from fast food. 
We had just finished ordering and Dad was staring at the table....he moved the salt, then the pepper and just watched and moved his eyes. I thought at first he saw a bug. Then I got curious and asked him what he was looking at. I had been drinking by Coke and out of his mouth came, "I am looking at that Little Man." I nearly spit my drink across the table at Michelle. I choked. Not the first time either! He didn't say it but I pictured a little green Leprechaun. So I started laughing and Dad was grinning....and Michelle wanted to know where he was....the little man that is. Dad pointed right in the very spot he was standing. Michelle, being the instigator brought her hand up and went straight down on the "little man" who was standing there. 
Oh that did it for Dad, he was quite disturbed at her doing that. I was still laughing hard and could barely see what was going on but I saw what she did! Dad says," , Oh look what you did now…. He is dead. Now he can’t feed his family. They will have to go on Welfare….and only get 50% of what he made."

I just could not contain myself after that. I think the whole restaurant was looking. My stomach was hurting by now.....how does he come up with this stuff? It was just hilarious! 

That was my Dad in a nutshell....always worrying about the "little guy".~~

My Memories...

I was thinking today of how I wish I had been able to start a blog on my Mom. Oh she would have been so much fun to write about. She would have wanted to read it. Dad could take it or leave it when it came to seeing what I wrote. If it was a funny story about him, he would have said he lived it.....he didn't need to read about it. IF it had been my Mom, she would have wanted to read it just to make sure I wasn't making too much fun of the situation OR wanted to make sure I got it right. I did write some of the stories Mom told me down in Word format years ago. Somewhere on my usb drives they hide. Maybe I should revive them and start a blog on my Mom. Now SHE could be a character. Oh she had so many stories.
I had lunch with a friend yesterday. We started talking about our Moms. She knew some of my Mom's stories but I started to tell her a sad story about my Mom that very few people know about. I started to cry. Then my friend started to cry. She understood that I was sad for my Mom and that she really didn't have the happy life she could have had. Dad and Mom both worked way too hard and partied way too little. My Dad would say he didn't need to party. Mom would say Dad wouldn't take her to THE party! Funny stuff from them too.
Sad times too....maybe I should start in my next post about the stories of when they met....the very early years. The stories that I know...which may be different than other stories others know. I would like to think I did pay attention to my Mom and Dad when they did tell family stories and the experiences they had. We shall see if I can recall while I begin the next chapter.

Day by Day...

Each day gets easier to deal with the loss of my Dad. I cry when I see his photo going through them online or in my files. It's just a personal thing to deal with his loss. I am happy he got what he wanted but sad he and Mom wasn't around longer to enjoy themselves. I think they rarely got to real enjoy themselves. They gave and gave and got really so very little at times. For that I feel bad for them but they chose to help instead of being selfish. Oh they were never that, for sure. I sure hope they get the finest rewards in Heaven. They sure deserve it. They didn't get a lot of rewards here on this Earth!

There was much to do when Dad passed away. Took me almost 3 months to notify, fill out forms for death certificates, notify insurance companies, find insurance companies that we didn't know he had, fill out paperwork, finish online information, pay bills, and dozens of other things you have to do when someone dies. I did it while grieving for Dad. There were days I just refused to even look at that stack of papers staring at me that I had to get done.

All this while dealing with a daughter and her children in crisis. That crisis has not ended but getting better if I can find some peace and quiet somewhere. {lol} I still have my sense of humor MOST days. {Today was no one of them.} 

Dad was specific about what he wanted done when he was gone. Dad had requested that we donate money to his church. But he had left that church years before and it had changed so much over the time he was gone. I had talked to him one day when he was of a sound mind about that subject. 

He knew from talking to his friend that the church he had attended had changed a lot. 

Many had left or died and he had visited and had seen the difference. 

So I asked him what he thought about using that money he set aside to send to the Billy Graham Association. 

Mom and Dad had always loved his ministry. I had bought Dad the CD, Homeward Bound that was read by Billy Graham. Dad had enjoyed listening to that until he fell asleep. I gave him some time to think about it and he came back with that would be a good idea. Dad probably wouldn't have come up with that idea on his own with his mind the way it was but if you gave Dad some options, he could think on that pretty well. 

So I promised him that I would do that. 

It took me about 4 months after Dad died to sit down and write a letter along with a check to the BGA to tell them about my Mom and Dad. 

I sent a copy to my sister so she knew Dad's wish had been fulfilled and so she could see what I said in the letter. 

I included some photos of them young and old. I included a group photo of us 4 which was the last photo of us together. 

I separated the money into different categories provided in the form I downloaded online, so several needs would be met. 

I know it won't change the world. 

The main point was to do as Dad had asked us to do with his hard earned money. 

That was the most important thing that we did. 

http://www.billygraham.org/mediarelations_pressrelease_detail.asp?id=9529 

So if you are so inclined to ever donate to the BGA, then here is a form to use.

If you like my blog about my Dad then by all means donate in his name. He would have liked that. If you could see him, you would make him grin big.

http://www.billygraham.org/assets/media/pdfs/support/BGEADonationForm.pdf 

The End of the Story?

You might think this is the end of the story...but it is not.
There are more stories to be told about my Dad.
I have them circling around in my head.
This is for my Kids, my Grandkids....and their kids, and so on. It's for them but also for anyone interested.
Just because my Dad is gone doesn't mean the story has to end, now does it?

I will start with a poem that I thought had been written by Dad. I mistakenly gave him the credit and discovered recently that he did not write it, although he could have. He did write another song that he never put the music to.
I had seen it before in his things but placed it back in the box vowing to return later and sort all of these papers out and possibly put them in a scrapbook. This is where my addiction to order comes in handy, btw. ; )

So while looking for some information before making the memorial card, I luckily came across the poem again and there was no doubt in my mind that this should be on the memorial card. I don't regret adding it to the card although Dad didn't write it, the poem was still very appropriate. I am glad to have it in his handwriting as a keepsake.

Had I known it was a song, I would have played it at the Memorial service. So please credit the actual writer of the song. My mistake. It was an honest mistake, I promise.
It is in a Salvation Army Songbook #732

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYluvTthjiU 

"I'm in His hands.

Whate're the future holds

The days I cannot see

Have all been planned for me

His way is best you see

I'm in his hands."

Flowers from the Memorials

I want to thank those who sent flowers and other gifts.
Some flowers will be planted at my house and some will be planted at my sister's house.
The greenery will be kept alive as long as our green thumbs can make them grow.
We want to thank...
Lerryn ~ Bleeding Heart plant.
Braden Mfg ~ Lovely Greenery Asst Plants
Cedar Ridge Christian Church ~ Spathiphyllum {Peace Lily}
Rod's Family in Indiana ~ Hydrangeas
Richard & Debbie Leazenby ~ Large Multi greenery plants
Riverview Wesleyan Church ~ Spring bulbs in planter
Heartland Cruisers Club {Dad's Car Club} ~ Floral Arrangement
Logansport Machine Co Retirees ~ Floral Arrangement
Glorine Smith ~ Donation of 5 Gideon Bibles
Fred and Carole Wandrei ~ Memorial Gift to the Bridge Community Church {formerly Riverview Wesleyan Church.

Just what's on my mind...

I really didn't think Dad would die this last time with pneumonia. I really didn't.
In fact, when Hospice nurse told me that he was in his last stages of life, I laughed at her....I told her...."You don't understand, I have seen my Dad worse than THIS...believe me. He pulls out of everything."
Not that I think she really did understand more than me....cause she didn't really. Dad and God chose his time. I was the last to know.
I had written down what he said to me when he was in the hospital in January with a UTI. I found it again in my notebook when I was cleaning out my purse.
Dad said, "I ain't got too long to live, so you better get busy." He went on to say give me some story about photography that I didn't quite understand. He continued with, " I wish I had a club to hit myself in the head." "The trouble with the diagnosis....the body is made the same as meat." He saw the confusion in my face I think, cause he then said, "I might as well shut up because I am not making any sense."
I just thought at the time that he was having a reaction to the UTI....it sometimes makes elderly people hallucinate. Dad already hallucinated without a UTI.
You see, inside my mind, I wanted to hug him and tell him that I didn't want him to die.....I was afraid when he talked like that....and he did that often enough that if I had let it get to me, I would have cried way too much. I just wanted to turn his thinking around so he would stop thinking about how much better off he thinks he would be dead. I wanted him to stay here with us for as long as he was not miserable and in awful pain. We did everything to keep him comfortable as anyone his age could possibly be without knocking him out with meds that made him a vegetable. I wanted him awake. He wanted to sleep.
Now I have some regrets for not just letting him have his way and maybe just sitting down and praying WITH him that God would come and take him home. To me, that's like saying I want him gone when I didn't.
I wanted him to stay for when my Daughter and Grandkids would come back to live in the area. I knew being around the kids would liven him up. I was picturing it in my mind that Dad would be in the hot tub and Kilah and Kiara would be in talking to Grandpa giving him the will to carry on for even just a little while longer. I had plans for that.
Unfortunately many of my well planned out plans in my life have dwindled away of no fault of my own.
Due to others failing in their own plans affects us all in so many ways. There is only but one thing to do and that is not to lose hope. Hope is what keeps us going. One door opens when another closes. I keep trying to keep that thought.
So while I am waiting for another door to open, let me say that if you are putting off something like taking a trip with a loved one, or playing a good game of Scrabble cause there is some TV show that you or someone else wants to see......then put your foot down.....play that Scrabble, turn OFF that TV.....take that trip, make those plans, JUST DO IT, whatever it is. Get it done THIS YEAR!

The Kroeger Funeral Home Obit in Indiana

http://kroegerfuneralhome.com/fh/obituaries/obituary.cfm?o_id=1995527&fh_id=10286

This link is no longer active. The one in the post below is still active as of this date 11/12/2018.

Memorial Website for Dad...

http://www.floralhaven.com/obituaries/Odus-Raymer/#/PhotosVideos/00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000/0cc7f28e-8ed1-4092-bc31-124323d13d35
This is for the Tulsa area....there will be another for the Indiana area that I will add as I get it.

They did a fast job getting this all done. We have been working hard to get this up for all of those who cannot attend but would like to know what's going on.

I hope to have a couple videos to add in a few days of the celebration of Dad's life.
So keep checking back.

Wendy

Odie is young again.....

My story telling days for Dad are over I am sad to report. At least the ones while he was alive...
Dad entered on the other side Tuesday, March 5th at 3:15pm.
I, alone, was by his side at the hospital holding his hand.
I will tell more of the story later....but...
When I saw the end was near I told him it was okay to leave us, we would be fine and carry on his lessons in life.
Five moments later, he took his last breath.
He was in no pain, and it was so peaceful, it gave ME peace.
I kissed him goodbye, told him I loved him very much several times before the last breath.
I asked him to forgive me for anything I ever did to make him unhappy.

I will miss him very much.
I am so grateful for the determination to write these stories for the younger generations in our family who are here and who are to come so they will get to know their Grandpa a little better when his name is mentioned.

I know my Dad will be greeted in Heaven. Of that I have no doubt.
He not only said he was a Christian, he lived it and set the example.

I am proud to say he was a good and patient Dad even when he shouldn't have been. My sister and I could surely put both our parents to the test at times.

I hope in my adult years I gave them a sense of peace and didn't worry them much at all. I cannot undo anything but I certainly tried to give them a peace to know that one day I will join them in heaven. In the end, that's all that matters.

He took that last ride to Heaven's Gates.

Rest in Peace, Dad....you deserve it.