DEMENTIA! Arrrggghhh

I keep reminding myself all the time that Dad has dementia and not to take the things he says personally. However, I asked myself what is it that bothers me when he says hurtful things. It's the fact that he really believes it at THAT time.
Yesterday and all evening Dad was continuing to have these hallucinations. It may seem that he is really there but all the time his mind is somewhere else. I don't know this till later when he can recall what happened. Sometimes. It's hard to explain unless you spend days with him to see it.


He had been hallucinating all day but at dinner time he asked me for the onions and cucumbers he cut up. Of course he did no such thing....but he wanted them and started to move things around on the table to search for them. He was close to knocking glasses of drink over and dropping things from the turntable onto the table. I told him, Rod told him that there weren't any cucumbers and onions.
He INSISTED there was.....finally he gave up and pouted and pushed his plate forward and told me he wasn't going to eat his dinner. I can't say I have seen him do that before. I am not sure how to handle it when he does that but Rod said, Okay, and took his plate and he covered it and Rod told me he may eat it tomorrow. Okay, but I hate for him not to have all of his dinner. Rod had a good point though because Dad will play those sorts of games from time to time and I tend to give in. Rod sees that I am tired and he thinks I should NOT jump every time Dad wants something. I suppose he is right because I have seen Dad becoming more impatient when he doesn't get something RIGHT NOW.

Dad went to the living room and sat down and still pouting....he said he wanted to call Nola.....first time he has asked to call her. I have told him to tell me if he wants to call someone.....He has asked once to talk to Louise and once she called here.
I don't have free long distance on my home phone since we have a cell phone. Dad can't hear well with the cell phones so I just gave everyone the phone number here if they want to call him. So since he asked to call, Rod used his cell to call her and have her call Dad back on his phone that is loud enough for him to hear. It's so complicated to do all those things but it gets done somehow.

So he wanted to leave here right away and move in with Nola.....he told her stuff that wasn't true.
It's not like he lies.....not intentionally. He dreams up so many situations that he believes these things actually happened. I tried to mention that but I thought never mind.....he is in that mood that's it's just not worth trying to reason with him. Rod said it would blow over and not to worry.

So later before he went to bed he was in the bathroom......I asked him why he told Nola those things that he said I did and he said What? I didn't tell her anything. He really didn't even remember what he said other than he did remember talking to her......it's very hard to communicate with a person with dementia.

So he went to bed....it was peaceful for about 2 hours....I stayed up for about an hour, although I should have gone to bed, maybe....but I figured he would be up like last night and I hate to JUST get to sleep and have to get up. He was quiet when I checked on him so I went to bed @ 10:30pm. At 11:30 I heard him yelling.....HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.....so I hurried to the room so the yelling wouldn't wake Rod and Dad was laying there on his back with his legs over the guard rail.......and I asked what he wanted.....he yelled at me....I WANT MY MONEY BACK......so obviously the next question would be What money....he comes back with...THE MONEY YOU STOLE FROM ME. I was right there on the railing trying to put his legs back in the bed and he started kicking me and I mean he can KICK hard.....I told him that I was NOT going to put up with being kicked and hit and he said OH YES YOU ARE. So strange to see him act like this.....at that point he is not the Dad I know. I try to keep reminding myself of that.....so I pulled back.....waited while he said some other nasty things, then I walked out of the room for a bit....just went to the kitchen to get some water for him. Came back to the room and he had calmed down it seemed. He said he needed to use the toilet and why haven't I taken him......*sigh*. So I take him and on the way out of the bathroom he says....."Now don't wake me up again, I need my SLEEP." *SIGH* again!!

He never made a sound that I could hear all night long but for at 7am when my alarm went off at the same time he called my name. OH what a mess I had to clean up when I got to the bedroom. So off we went to the bathroom to clean the BM up. Although that was NO fun....he says, "I didn't DO THAT....I don't know who did but it wasn't me." Okay, now I laughed, it was either that or CRY!

OT was here at 8:15 to give him a bath.....and just in time. I told her she missed the fun part and she was ever so grateful she was running late.

So he got all cleaned up, shaved, hair combed and dressed and ate breakfast. The OT gal was concerned that he might have cracked a rib because he was complaining about his back rib area being sore so the Home care company ordered an X-ray. I didn't think he had a cracked rib witht he way he was kicking last night. The X-ray tech brings the machine to the house which isreally convenient....she just left a bit ago and the results should be ready in a couple hours.

Dad is resting on the sofa peacefully. I can only hope that he wakes up in THIS WORLD and stays there for awhile. He is missing a good movie right now, Texas Carnival with RED SKELTON. Maybe it's better he sleeps!