Just to give credit where credit is due...Corey titled this story...
Went to church in the morning with Dad, Rod, and Corey. All seemed normal till we got to the restaurant.
Dad started in on stories for some reason. During the meal in which we were constantly entertained I nearly choked while drinking my soda, had to hold my head down in order...Corey had to cover his mouth so he didn't lose his food.
We were talking about driving back to Indiana soon in which I would be driving and Dad would be the passenger. From the last trip we took I have to take special measures to keep him away from the steering wheel and quite possibly find a way to make him sleep. haha He was awake the ENTIRE 14 hours the last trip back to OK and we were going out of our minds with Dad constantly complaining about something, trying to grab the wheel while Rod was driving and talking about total nonsense stuff. So I was thinking I could possibly go nuts this trip.
During this discussion in which Dad was asking questions and surprisingly paying attention to the conversation he says......."I won't be able to help you drive, I don't think." The laughing at the table begins.....REALLY? You mean you are not sure that you are unable to help me drive???? Lord help me on this trip. I know for sure not to leave the keys in the car while I go out of the vehicle for any reason AT ALL.
It was one thing after another coming out of his mouth. The reason he couldn't drive, he discovered was because his eyeballs were about 6" to the front of him and that causing sight issues. BAM, BAM.....then another subject jumped into his head and we were laughing again just after we had got control after the last bright idea.
Watching him eat while he was talking was just as funny as the subjects he had. He had pepper on his bananas and kiwi. I tried to fix it and he snapped at me to leave it alone, that's what he wanted. Then I did assist him with the pepper sauce and he said I didn't put enough.....so Corey added more and then he ate all those eggs and sausage with hot sauce. He said it was just right. Who is this man??? He wouldn't eat that stuff before today!! He tried to eat his napkin. Yes, the napkin.....he had so much jelly and sauce on that napkin from sticking it in his plate that he thought it was food. He picked the napkin up with his hand and tried to stick it in his mouth and eat it. Corey just laughed and laughed and nearly caused a disturbance. haha Dad was just as serious as can be about the whole thing. I thought it was my MOTHER that could tell a story without laughing and bring us all to tears but Dad was just as good in his old age.
I was glad when it was time to leave the restaurant because I couldn't take much more of Dad's antics. My stomach hurt and I needed a break!
I tried to get my camera out to video tape this but the battery was going dead and I was laughing so hard I couldn't even find the camera icon because of the tears in my eyes.
We got home and Dad was wide awake, something unusual....and he was sitting in his chair in his bedroom. I had told him to stay in that chair and do not try to get out of it with the footrest up. There were a couple times I had to go in his room to see what he was yelling about....once it was because he needed to get out of the chair to go see that man that told him he needed to change the oil in the car.....so like a dummy I ask WHAT CAR ? Never did get an answer for that cause Dad just changes mid stream and brings up something else. He gets mad at me cause I won't go talk to the MAN about the oil.
About an hour later I hear him yelling my name outside my office door....like in a panic. I open my office door, which I shut while Daisy is with me cause she "wanders" and there he is unassisted standing with his walker, eyes wide open and in a panic....saying,
"That hound dog is trying to get out of the fence." There is no way he could see that from his chair....and NOT ONLY THAT, Daisy, the hound dog, was with ME in my office with the door closed. He thought that she was in the back yard trying to dig under the fence to get to the other side.
Corey comes down the hall from his room to see what was going on and asked Dad why was he walking around without anyone to help....and he said, "Do you still have your dog?"
So Corey and I try to pull out of him what in the heck is he talking about. He just started to say the same thing over and over about how she {Daisy} got out even though SHE was under his feet at the time while he was being led back to the sofa to sit down.
I left the room to attend to Daisy and Corey comes to the laundry room where I am and tells me that Grandpa is wondering we overfed the chickens????
Yes, I said CHICKENS. What chickens?
We don't own any chickens, Corey said to Dad.....Dad thought that Corey said KNOW any chickens....and Corey continued with we don't know any chickens either.
Dad said, "I DO!" Corey inquired while laughing, "WHAT CHICKENS DO YOU KNOW?"
Then Dad seriously as can be told Corey, "A man my age whose last name was Pickens." So apparently Dad knows a guy HIS AGE called CHICKEN PICKENS.
{Folks....I can't make stuff up....this is exactly how Dad tells it.} We laughed and laughed.....and finally got Dad to laugh along.
At this point I think even HE thinks it is ridiculous!! I just told him to go to sleep...I am tired. Take a nap Dad so we all can get some REST!
In a few moments Corey was back in my office telling me that Dad is still going on about how the chickens are trying to get into the house. He is really having one of those days in which the mind is working faster than he can keep up with it.
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