Another Found Story in my Files

December 12, 2009

It’s harder than I thought it was going to be to keep this up.  Some days I am so busy with Dad and little time to sit down at the computer and put my thoughts together. I tell myself these are the days of my life that it’s so important for me to continue…a therapy of sorts.

Since Dad has been off all those new meds he was on when I got here he has IMPROVED so much. There is dementia still but not as bad as it was. He is not as angry. I do notice that he wants to know where I am all the time. I guess I am Dad’s security blanket and that’s fine.

Music helps Dad a lot when he is going to sleep. When he is restless I turn the CD on of the Gaithers and he almost immediately calms down and stops growling in his presleep.

December 19, 2009

Dad has now started to drool….I have him dry swallow throughout the day but he continues to do so today. Actually, he started to do that last night when Michelle was here and was progressively worse until bedtime. He is sometimes non responsive. He continues to see this lady who his associated with a religious man who is trying to get him to join some religious sect. He doesn’t know these people but he is fearful of them

All during the week he thinks he is away from his home on Sherman Street. He talks about how the rooms are configured differently than the house he built. He wants me to hire an exterminator to kill the rats and bugs in the house and became somewhat angry last night when I wouldn’t call someone right now. He said I don’t do what he asks me to do and I do what he doesn’t want me to do……example…getting a security system for the house. This comes and goes.

December 21, 2009

Dad had a good day today but for a couple incidences of hallucinations. He saw a little “dragon” like creature in his sweatpants as he was on the pot. He felt down the legs to see if he could feel and bring it up for me to see. Of course, no such creature to show me. I told him if he could produce it, we could make millions.

I was having cold like symptoms and I decided to lay down about 7pm. I set the alarm for 8:30pm so I wouldn’t sleep past Dad’s bedtime. Out of the blue I hear Dad call my name….WILDA, come quick……there is a car coming through the wall and it’s halfway through. I was awake now but saying that I was not getting up to see a car coming through the wall. He says fine, but you are going to miss it. I did get up as I saw that he was half off the recliner and sitting way down with his legs dangling. I got up to sit him up straight. All the while he is going on about the little people playing the organ, of which there is none in Dad’s house. I told him that there wasn’t an organ and I was not going to play into his story and he said Okay fine, thanks for your help. LOL Go on back to bed then.

He was mumbling to himself there was water all over the floor but he mumbled to himself.

While still in Indiana on December 21^st…He was very awake today and talking on the phone to Louise and talked to Nola for a while….all along very alert and animated.

Rod, Dad and I were in the living room and Dad was hallucinating but making some sense……he said there was a lady there in the room….he said he didn’t know her name…and I said, why don’t you ask her what her name is and his reply was, “I guess I am bashful” Oh and my wife get after me.”

OH MY GOD we just laughed and laughed and Dad even laughed at that answer and grinned ear to ear. Oh it was so funny and how I recalled how Mom WOULD have got after him…..she was have said she was Mrs. Invisible and commented how he was busy talking to THE women and she was over there by herself…..and I repeated all that to Dad and he just grinned, seemingly to remember how Mom WOULD have reacted to him talking to “that” woman.

Every day Dad entertains us in some sort of fashion like that.

Earlier in the day we all had eaten at the table….Dad ate well and after dinner I asked him if he wanted any coffee. Oh yes he said, coffee sounded good…. I had some coffee singles of vanilla flavor so I made a cup in the machine for making one/two cups at a time. So I carefully cooled the coffee down for him with some French Vanilla creamer….and stirred it. I got ready to give it to him and told him to take a sip from the straw that we use to ease his swallowing and he asked what it was and I said coffee and he squealed, Ohhhhh I don’t want that and wrinkled up his face at me…..Rod and I both started to laugh because it didn’t surprise us that he had completely forgotten that he even wanted it. I gave it to RodSo we went to the living room and sat for a while, Dad telling stories and then out of the blue he asked where HIS coffee was with his eyes big looking at Rod. OMG, we laughed and laughed.

Dad always had a way of talking that would get your attention. As an 89 year old man with dementia, the intensity of his gestures adds to the dynamic of his words. He carefully chooses his words when he is talking to us. Many times they are precise and using intellectual descriptions.

Dad was sitting on the sofa this evening and he had a busy time moving up and down on the seat saying that he needed to get up to either go check on something or to get over to another part of the room. We would keep a close eye on him to make sure that he didn’t fall. He started to talk about a bus being here with some people and he wanted to go to the front door to see them. I took him over to the front door and he looked out the window saying what a mess it was out there…..soon the concern about the bus diminished and he was no longer interested in seeing it. So he came back to the sofa where Rod helped him to sit down.

Later that same evening Rod was sitting next to him and he was talking about moving things around near the sofa…he had a box of balls….and he says The hell I ain’t….this coming from a man who did NOT cuss, and then said “You people shuffled me around….and blew my mind.” Hahaha How can you not just burst out laughing? He is totally unmoved at the humor of it all sometimes….just as serious as he can be while he still continues to maneuver whatever he thinks is out of order on the couch and in front of him….mostly invisible items.

He has “worked” for a couple hours at “fixing” the area he is sitting in to readjust his surroundings.

Here's a Little Ditty....

One day in November 2009….

Dad was seeing things that weren’t there and it went like this.

Wendy: There’s nothing there Dad…..

Dad: Well, it showed up on my screen.

Found another story...

I am cleaning out some files and found this little story that I wrote a while back. I am not sure if I posted it here before but thought I would blog it anyway. I am getting ready to copy all these stories and eventually make a book for the family. I fear one day this website will disappear like so many other photo places that popped up over the Internet. I must copy soon.
I always am so grateful for the persistence I had to keep these stories.

Dad’s Diary…2009

November 14, 2009.

Dad was awake till 3am and finally dozed off. He was talking to himself the entire time. Then he finally fell asleep at about 4am and then he was up every hour on the hour. Then he went back to sleep about 6 and slept till about 10. I gave him his meds early so he could eat a good breakfast. I went to wake him as he was talking to himself for a long time before he would get out of bed. He was facing the south wall saying he wanted to lay on that shoulder. He finally did get up and we went to the bathroom and did the usual routine of washing face, getting dentures in and glasses on. Then we went to the table and he ate very good….eggs and eggnog French toast. He has gingerbread tea with French vanilla flavor packet.

He then went to the bathroom to poop and then to the living room to take a nap. He was hallucinating today seeing little people and this one particular little man. This went out throughout the day. I offered him something to drink every hour but by 3pm he was refusing. He told me a couple times he wanted to go home, a frequent demand. At 5pm, I took him outside as the weather was just great and we were watching the sunset starting. He saw little men in Army tanks and marching along in unison. He was constantly seeing something either in the tree or on the cement. We came in after about 30 minutes as he said he was getting cold.

He didn’t want dinner and refused to take his vitamins and said I couldn’t make him eat that stuff. I took it back out to the kitchen not saying anything. I came back in the living room and sat in the chair next to him and he was soon talking to himself. I soon found out that he was saying things like you can’t make me eat human flesh. I will NOT….he would start preaching of which I video taped. Then he would start singing which is on video tape.

For a couple hours he talked to himself with his eyes open not even looking at me directly or what was around him in the house.

{During that time for some reason that popped into my head, I asked him if he had been baptized and he told me yes…..it was at Crooked Creek in Cass County by Royal Center. 

Not A Day Goes By...

Yes, not a day goes by that I don't at some point during the day think about Mom and Dad. After all items from their lives are scattered throughout my home.
Through my mind wanders the memories of the past. An incident in the present will remind me of a distant story. I can see my Mom and Dad as they were at that time.
Recently I was looking through some audio tapes and trying to locate the ones of Mom and Dad singing. I was also trying to find the one of me at 4 years old talking to my Dad. I wanted to play it for Kilah. She was running wild around the house so there was no interesting her in it. I did play it for me and for Kiara and Rod who was in the room. I wish he had made more of those tapes. Then again, how grateful I am that I have the few that I have. I do have others talking on tapes that they have never even heard. I say tape, because we didn't have talking movies then....well, not for home use...and we just had cassette recorders. {I had to explain the progression of technology to my Granddaughter.} She didn't get it. It was the confused look on her face that told me how she didn't get it. She didn't know what each one of these devices looked like. So I could understand her confusion.
How does that go again.....just in MY lifetime....wire recorder to reel to reel, then we had the 8-track, which you really couldn't record on but you could transfer your reel to reel IF you had a hugely costly machine to do that. haha Mom and Dad just happen to have one so I could record on cassette FROM the reel to reel. Then came the micro recorder and now we have digital recorders. I lost Kiara way before that. I am surprised that I made a point to remember all that anyway!
Instead of telling my Grandkids how far I had to walk in the snow to my school....I at least had the technology story to relay.

Listening to Mom play the accordion and Dad playing his guitar with both of them singing gave me a lump in my throat. My Daughter had to leave the room because she burst into tears. The Grandkids have no real memory of them both singing and playing instruments but I felt they needed to hear them at least. I have fond memories of which I have told in this blog. I may not listen to the tapes often, but it's just knowing they are there are a comfort. I can, at anytime, listen to them speak so I never forget what their voices sounded like.

Like Dad said, "What I would give to hear my Mother's voice again!"
I can say all I have to do is turn on the machine and hear my parents' voices again. I can also get out the videos and watch them talk. I have been lucky. I am fortunate!