Testing the Waters....

Sometimes Dad shows his stubborn side. Most of the time he is easy to deal with but on occasion he can really act like a 2 year old...AND laugh about it.
One night at dinner he sat down and I had his meds ready. I put them in applesauce so he swallows them easy but he needs to take them right away or they melt and taste nasty.
I put the food on his plate and set the plate near him but the applesauce with pills was right in front of him. I turned to see him starting to eat his food which was at least 10 inches away from him. I told him to eat his applesauce cause it had pills in it and they will melt if he waits. He ignored me and kept eating the food and spilling 3/4 of it while dragging it across the table. I tell him again to eat the applesauce with pills. Rod and I are both looking at each other just wondering how bad his hearing is that he can't hear twice what I just said. Finally I shouted DAD.....and he turns to me, but not looking directly at me. I said it loud again....I put your pills in your applesauce so you can eat them first before they melt. He turns toward me.....looks at me and says, "I heard you the first time." So I said, "Well if you heard me the first time, why can't you acknowledge me so I don't have to spend time repeating myself ?" His answer you may wonder??
"I was too busy eating the food on my plate!"

{Where do I sign up for being driven crazy by your Father class?}



The Freudian Slip

I had to speak to the nurse at the day care center last week about some issues we were having with Dad. While there she told me that Dad does hallucinate there at the center. Sometimes his mind tells him he is in another place, town or that there are people there that aren't really there. The gals there try to tell him the truth but he doesn't believe them.

So in our conversation, the nurse told me that in one incident with Odie....he talked about me and mention me as Isabelle. (that was my Mom's name) The nurse believes that Dad identifies me with my Mom. Oh I agreed with her. He has called me that. I think that is why there is some conflict between Dad and I too. When he wants to make a point he will INSIST that he is right. I give in to some things and just agree with him. Sometimes that bites me in the butt because then he will accuse me of placating him. ha ha ha Can't win for losing ya know. So I usually just play along and argue right back. It's just what he is used to cause he and Mom argued a great deal of the time. Dad just don't give in....but he found his match in me. Oh I can argue till the cows come home.

I will also tell him I am not his wife or Mother....so he needs to do some things on his own. Otherwise he vegges out in a  chair and does nothing.

My Mother would have gotten a kick out of Dad's behavior and the way I handle it....she would have laughed for sure. It would have done her soul good to see that Dad is not getting the last word. I'd like to think that she is watching. He calls me the Boss. ha ha I ask him if I am the boss then why aren't you doing what I tell you to do. He has no answer for that.

Dad Cooking in The Pot, UPDATE

My Dad could do just about anything and being girls, I think my sister and I learned to be competitive from watching Dad....we were always trying to do as good as he...still do I think.

He always had a better way.....which kept us on our toes I must say....but today I fixed his hash, as he used to say.

 He complains and finds something wrong all the time....I just snap back at him most of the time.....but today he had only good things to say which I didn't expect.

I thought he would for sure find some fault. I got him in his swim trunks and took off his shirt....he never asked a question which was odd. I told him I had a surprise for him.

I walked him out to the back patio and showed him the spa....not a word came out...... he climb into the spa with help from Rod and me.

He was a little scared but we got him in.

This was a huge surprise for him...he didn't know it went in yesterday....and what did Dad finally say?

Big grin....and "AHHHHHHH".

I asked if he liked it and he said oh yeah.

One hour later, I went out back and I said....

Do you want to get out?  Dad's reply...."NO" I will stay in a little longer.

We have it at a comfortable temp so he can stay in longer.

I can see him through the window in the kitchen and he is asleep....Rod is out there with him.

FINALLY only took 60 years to find something that Dad didn't find fault with....or some way to improve it.

Well, the day "ain't" over yet! LOL

I'd Give Anything......

Dad was getting ready for bed the other night.
He got into bed and I was adjusting his legs on the pillows and covering him up. As usual he was doing his normal arguing about what was in the room and what wasn't.....I told him that Mom was right, he would argue about the color of the sky.
He looked at me and laughed a little and said, "I would give anything to argue with your Mother right now."
I got a lump in my throat and laughed out of nervousness because I didn't want to cry....and said, "Yep, and Mom would probably give anything to listen to you argue right about now, too."

Mom and Dad fought, that's no secret. They fought over the dumbest things I thought.....the animals, how to deal with kids and Grandkids, when dinner was going to be ready, how much money to spend....etc.

However, I think that even though they could drive each other crazy, they did love each other.
They went through a lot together.....a LOT. I think on occasion how hard is must have been to lose a child to a drowning when he was almost 3. Mom and Dad were both just 23 years old themselves.
I know what they both said that got them through that.....their faith in God and their belief in Jesus Christ. The fact that Gilbert was going to be with the Angels and he would be okay.
Mom talked of him often. I know all the stories. Dad never did talk too much about him. I know for sure why he didn't. I speculated with Mom and told her my theory as to why he didn't get emotional.
The hurt is still so deep that now that Dad is older and more emotional, the mere mention of his name and Dad tears up. I think he had to be strong for Mom. Mom would tell me that she didn't like him not talking to her about Gilbert. She wanted Dad to cry with her when she was feeling bad. Dad was afraid to look like a sissy. It's that generation. It's what was drilled into them very young.....don't cry, be brave, be a man.

When in fact, being a man is being sensitive....a quality many men don't have. I am glad that I raised my boys to BE sensitive. Both of them have compassion. My youngest even today can talk about something that is sad and not afraid to cry in front of me or anyone. I am sure his wife will always appreciate that.
Having a heart is not sissy.

I patted Dad, kissed his forehead and told him all was okay, not to worry....Mom is having a chuckle over him saying he wanted to argue! No doubt she is or will....however you believe.
In the meantime he would have to settle for me to argue with. One day there will be plenty of time to share those stories without sadness or grief.

The Ups and Downs

Dad has been struggling the last couple days with walking and thinking.....two things he says he can't do at the same time.

Yesterday it took Rod and ME to walk him from the car to his bathroom after the day at the Sr Ctr. Now mind you, we practically carried him into the house. We got so far and we both had to lay him on the carpet because we were out of breath. We couldn't use the walker or the wheel chair at the time. They were too far away to grab so we just thought we could do it ourselves no further than it was. haha We all rested a bit, then we stood Dad up and off we went to set him on the pot.

He says, "Boy, that took a lot out of ME!" I started laughing.....and I said, trying to get my breath, " YEAH, I can imagine that it's exhausting being dragged from the car, up the sidewalk, into the house and across the house, to the bathroom, for YOU!" haha

I kept laughing, walked away....and I could hear him say to Rod, with a little laugh, "She's always making fun of me." hahahaha

The Bathroom Faucet...

Dad got his new faucet in his bathroom put on yesterday. He's been griping about that two handled faucet for months. He wanted two handles to begin with. Then all of a sudden he didn't like it. So I told him I expect him to jump up and down over it when he got the new one. He didn't even notice it had been changed! hahaha Rod helped him take his teeth out last night and he didn't say a word to Rod. So this morning I made him notice it.

What did he say???? IT DON'T WORK....no, not when you touch it and expect it to turn on....he went through that 5 times before I made him THINK on how to turn it on....then I said....how's that?

He said it will work okay. hahahaha

I said you better like it cause it's the LAST one!