Changes, Changes....

Lots of different changes going on and have been going on here. A few days before my scheduled surgery for Uterine Cancer, Dad starts to fail fast....he got sick with congestion and had to use an antibiotic. He couldn't walk. Amy moved in for the month to take care of him while I recovered. She was exhausted the first week and I thought I was going to lose her out of just being worn out. I heard her in a conversation with her friend about how in the world did Mom do this all the time. LOL It ain't easy! After thinking about it for awhile I wondered what was the difference in me taking care of Dad and someone else. I figured out it had to do with commitment. If one is not committed, nothing can happen. You just do it because your mind has been set TO DO IT! Period. That's how I do it. The other alternative is a nursing home and I just can't do that. Since the surgery I have wondered how in the world I would do this IF I got worse and couldn't take care of Dad. I suppose at that point I would have to reconsider my choices. However, I am NOT at that point so no considering is necessary. I have been told by my Oncologist that the cancer is gone with the surgery. They took it all....and it was inside the uterus. All tests on the 20 lymph nodes that they removed were cancer FREE.
So let's move on to the rest of my life, shall we?

That doesn't mean I am strong again....I would have to travel back in time for that.
It does mean that I will NOT be having chemo or radiation taking up my time.

All I have to do now is to get strong, heal up the wounds and go back to running the house as I have been used to doing.

I think Dad was having his troubles at the same time as mine because he was worried about his own fate. What's going to happen to me if Wendy dies, or can't take care of me? I KNOW that's what was going through his mind because he said it to me privately in one of his dementia states.

Only when he actually saw me home and walking did he start to move and realize HE might be okay. It was noticeable....the Senior center nurse had suggested that he was concerned for himself in the situation. A few others figured it out as well.

Now he is over that slump, I am back to pushing him to move his butt and not pretend to be helpless. LOL Like Amy says, Uh oh, here comes Mom so you better get moving."

Dad would lay in bed all day and do nothing if not for me prompting him to get up and get moving. He would just sleep the entire rest of his life away. He would sit in that wheel chair and NOT get out if I didn't make him do it. He would say I can't a zillion times just to try and convince me he can't unless I told him I didn't want to hear those words. I use an old saying Mom used to bring up when the words I can't was said in her presence. They wouldn't make sense to people who never heard her but Dad KNOWS what I mean. That's usually all it takes to get him to have the will to move just one more day! That's all I ask.

So from not being able to move a few days before the surgery to the point I had to call home health in to take care of him...........to the point he is now walking with his walker short distances once again AND he actually stayed awake during the whole hour of church last week.......well, that's a huge step.

I have bigger steps in mind for him but one doesn't dare tell him ahead of time....no no no, that will give him time to find an excuse NOT TO DO IT! I must be one step ahead of him and sometimes two.